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DALETOONS ARE HERE AND SO ARE YOU

No matter how you wound up here, I hope you enjoy your stay.
Please click on images to view enlargements –Dale

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Santa Closed

Christmas 2012. Clutching his government approved revolver, a despondent Santa pores over his mailbag, resigned to becoming the latest casualty in the war on Christmas. Buck up Santa, the war isn't against you or the consumerist glut you've come to symbolize. The war is against Christ and His influence on our society. The same geniuses who banned "Thou shalt not kill" from the public schools are now having nocturnal emissions over their opportunity to use the Sandy Hook atrocity to disarm the law-abiding. Hope you have the merriest Christmas allowable by law. –Dale  

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Lost Soul Train

There's stupid and then there's CELEBRITY STUPID. At last week's Soul Train Awards show, Jamie Foxx, apparently high on hopium, declared Barack Obama to be Lord and Savior. More disturbingly, the crowd reacted with enthusiastic support for his allegedly jocular blasphemy. When 95% of African-American church members have no problem casting a vote in favor of a president with such screamingly anti-Christian policies, something is way wrong. Even fraudulent elections have consequences. –Dale

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Obamatown

The old divide and conquer strategy worked like a charm. Dupe America has won the day, but her Obama jones will prove to be her undoing. Loosely quoting John MacArthur, "The sins listed in Romans 1 are the heart of the Democratic Party platform." This election was likely America's final break with the God of our fathers. God will not force Himself on anyone or any nation. He will allow us to have our will. This will come as welcome news to many until they realize that the blessings of Liberty will go with Him. –Dale

To all my fantastic friends on this blog: I want to thank you all for the encouragement you have given me over the years. This will be my last toon for a while, as I devote more attention to things that have been on my back burner for the last four years. I still plan to post sporadically, but look forward to a break from the "wonderful" world of politics.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Shhhh

The "Mainstream Media" continues to ignore the Benghazi Superstory in order to protect Dear Leader. No longer a nation of laws devoted to individual liberty, the U.S., thanks to the continuous deception of the media bootlickers, has become a nation of true believers and infidels. Few Banana Republics have a "free press" so complicit. See you on November 6th. –Dale

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Toilet Zone

Submitted for your approval. –Dale

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Benghaz-who?

Pantsuit Diplomacy, the hallmark of the Obama Doctrine. Party animal, Hillary Clinton will surely go down in history, not as a great stateswoman, but as the last refuge for hopelessly skeevy Democrats. The responsibility follies going on in Barryworld are nothing new. Nixon impersonator, David Frye put it best, "I accept the responsibility but not the blame. Let me explain the difference. Those who are to blame lose their jobs. Those who are responsible do not." –Dale

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Gaming the System

Barry Obama, the toys and games President, shocked that Congress won't play along with overturning the American system of government, is changing the rules as he goes. This is a well documented tactic of spoiled brats everywhere. The solution? A sound beating in November. –Dale

Thanks to All Right Magazine Editor, Fairfield Pinpoint Edwards for the Operation concept.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Valley Forgery

My apologies to the memory of Arnold Friberg, the fine artist who's masterful "The Prayer at Valley Forge" is reproduced above my parody, "The Player at Valley Forge G&CC." George Washington chose to suffer for our country's sake along with the Continental Army at Valley Forge during the darkest days of our new nation. By contrast, our current "leader," causes the nation to suffer for his sake while he and his leftist minions engineer our darkest days since Valley Forge. –Dale

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Electile Dysfunction

From sham marriage to American foreign policy in shambles, Hillary has come a long way, baby. While Barry subjects himself to intense grilling from giant intellects like David Letterman and Whoopi Goldberg, Hillary, with the help of Saudi princess, Huma Weiner, has been left in charge to implement the 'albatrossic' Obama doctrine of betraying friends and coddling enemies. Hillary is taking the meetings Obama has no time for, and has, in effect, become our proxy President. A bumpy road indeed. Unfortunately, those bumps are the graves of patriots. –Dale 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Blowout

The infamous Cliff which Dear Leader has been driving us off of for the last three and a half years, is finally on fire. No amount of masochistic national groveling Barry displays to the "Muslim world" can atone for our infidel status. Yet Barry and his media droolers will not open their eyes to the fact that murderers, rapists, thieves and liars are the heart and soul of Islam. But, if a winking alliance with Islam is what it takes for the left to transform America into a really hip Marxist paradise... oh well. The Cliff is reportedly 41 miles high, so if you're worried that Barry might be injured by the fall, fear not, his pink chiffon Volt will be out of juice before he hits bottom. –Dale

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Hack Like Me

The enigmatic Obama, jumping from fundraiser to fundraiser, staying cool while the nation and the world spin out of control. The only thing that animates him is blaming his shortcomings on his political opponents. At his appearances, he plasters on that phony grin, tells a few whoppers and chokes out "God bless the U.S.A.," just like every hack politician since the beginning of time. But if he gets back into office, we'll see the real hacking begin as he takes out America's other leg. –Dale 

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Reading Between The Liars

The jive is alive at the DNC. The national embarrassment known as the Democratic Party has been on display all week as they prepare to re-install their beloved dictator. Speech after speech, belching out lie after lie, the participants cry for the unrestrained slaughter of babies, taxpayer financing of Sandra Fluke's $3,000 a month condom habit and absolute control by the intelligent few over all of our lives. The comedy stylings of Ol' Salt N' Peppa must have Ol' Marx and Engels in stitches. –Dale 

Friday, August 31, 2012

Ready To Rumba

Congratulations to Mitt Romney for shaping his convention to answer every phony charge made against him by the Democrats. It's super to see Mitt's cool dude in a loose mood side, but we wild-eyed extremists are still a little put off by the grassroots freeze-out move by Romney's Rinos on Tuesday. This, combined with the "likable Obama" chatter, makes us Scott Brown nervous. Finding Obama likable is like admiring the exotic patterns in a cluster of cancer cells. Let's hope the Romney attack machine is sharpened, well oiled and that all the Bachmann, Cain, Gingrich, Paul, Perry and Santorum chunks have been cleared out. Cha-cha-cha. –Dale

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Lip Service on Ice

The Left's war on life was given a real shot in the arm this week, as Obama's media machine used Todd Akin's "legitimate rape" statement to smear the Right with the absurd perception that rape is no biggie to Republicans. Barry was so "worked up" he was inspired to give a bold "news conference" to come out against rape. Meanwhile, Barry's DNC has chosen serial womanizer, Slick Willy, as their keynote speaker. If rape is going to be at the top of the Democrat Party decoy issues list, Barry and Bill are both well qualified on the topic, since one is doing to the country what the other did to Juanita Broaddrick. Yes Barry, rape is rape and politics are politics. –Dale  

Thursday, August 16, 2012

En Gourd

Pressure is increasing on Uncle Joe to step aside and allow Barack to pick a less embarrassing Democrat for the number two position on the ticket. Until such an event occurs, the Romney-Ryan team will have to prepare for a bout with numb-skulled Joe. Romney's debate experts, tasked with finding the best proxy opponent to practice against, winnowed their choices down to a bag of damp sand and a butternut squash. The verbal feint, thrust and parry abilities were identical for the sand and squash, but in the final analysis, the butternut's penchant for wildly disconnected false accusation won the day. –Dale  

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Mansquito!

NASA has come a long way since 1968, when they were sued by Madalyn Murray O'Hair for the Apollo 8 crew's reading of the first 10 verses of Genesis, as they viewed the Earth from Lunar orbit. Today the great technological achievements of the agency are overshadowed by an increasingly anti-God mindset that pervades the scientific community as a whole. A recent example is the purge of Intelligent Design proponent, David Coppedge from NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Talk about being lost in space, it's as if Dr. Smith has been put in charge of the mission. Warning, warning, Will Robinson! –Dale

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Newswack

From the "Newsweek covers Tina Brown will never approve" file. The Democrat party goose-steppers, agitated that the first amendment works in more than one direction, are foaming at the mouth more than usual. While Democrat officials in Chicago, Boston and New York cry for a crackdown on Chick-Fil-A, DNC hatchet woman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, tries her best to put a pretty face on the anti-Christian thuggery. Oh yeah, and telling us how good things are in Omerica. See you at Chick-Fil-A. –Dale

Update: Congrats to Chick-Fil-A, Mike Huckabee and free speech lovers for the success of yesterday's BUYCOTT. 

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Covered

If you can find your doctor, you can keep your doctor. With the "Affordable" Health Care Act still alive and looming, palliative care specialist, Dr. Barry "Graves" Obama, bids farewell to another useless feeder. In the world of Libberish, where child murder is called choice, one can only imagine what affordable health care really means. –Dale

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The First Staycation

The First Couple, in their never ending quest to pretend to be down with the people, are considering going nowhere for their family's 2012 summer vacation. Regardless of the outcome of the Fall election, you can bet your eye teeth that their next vacation cycle will be a doozy. –Dale

A self-serving note to all my Riff Raff friends: Rightly or wrongly, the Martha's Vineyard Black Dog Tavern logo has become synonymous with liberal elitist exclusivity. If you're like me, you can't afford to take a vacation in Barry's economy. Once again, this summer you'll be staying on your block for what has come to be known as a Staycation. In the spirit of good natured, eye poking parody, and to meet the souvenir needs of the stay-at-home recreator, the Out of Order Store is proud to introduce, Blockhead, The Block Dog, the official mascot of the Obama era Staycation. GET YOUR BLOCK DOG GEAR HERE: http://www.zazzle.com/daletoons

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Sayin' Yes To The Mess - Update

Saturday, July 7th, 2012, Barney Frank slobbered his vows to his "partner" in a mockery of legitimate marriage. Not oogie enough for you? At the reception, Nancy Pelosi danced to "It's Raining Men." –Dale

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Roberts' Rules of Odor

Everything is rotten in the District of Columbia, and the Supreme Court is no exception. The Liberal Thugocracy seems to have won the day by the usual means of intimidation and threats. Chief Justice Roberts is now the darling of the elitist left media and cocktail circuit. They didn't even have to release the 99% to get him to fold. Have a happy Independence Day, it may be our last. –Dale  

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Disgust-Ed

Production on the set of "Mister Ed, The Motion Picture," has ground to a halt. Sarah Jessica Parker is reportedly refusing to continue filming with her verbose palomino co-star. The problem seems to be the dangerously toxic nature of horse sense to the liberal leftist actress. The only known antidote for horse sense exposure is a copious dose of twittery. Ms. Parker was rushed to her New York City home for treatment. The President and First Lady, along with a throng of well heeled twits, rushed to her side for an emergency dinner party. –Dale 

Thursday, June 21, 2012

La Casa Blanca Press

Conservative intransigence has once again forced the President to run down to the White House print shop and crank out some unilateral justice. Scream all you want America, this President is forging ahead. –Dale

Thursday, June 14, 2012

No Party For Old Democrats

Bubba has tripped over his tongue, and he can't get up. Using the Reagan prosperity, he took America on a sleazy riverboat ride through the 90's. Could his virtual endorsement of Mitt Romney be a fit of elder statesmanship? More likely, he doesn't want the Clinton's Democratic party boat to follow Obama's leaky barrel over the falls. –Dale

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Man of Stool

Captain America came out against the Tea Party, Green Lantern just came out. The comic book industry is becoming nothing more than another leftist enterprise, poisoning truth, justice and the American way. I hope DC Comics will take the lead in demanding that the government of Metropolis pass legislation to raise the weight capacity of public changing tables. –Dale

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Onopoly

It turns out Barry is a leader after all. When it comes to rallying the hopelessly gullible to the politics of national destruction, he's second to none. His multi-pronged attack on America's founding principles shows us one thing, if he is re-elected, we're all forked. –Dale

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Sling Blather

Because of recent outbursts by the Vice President, Joe Biden has been assigned to campaign stops that are somewhat less than plum. Oddly, a familiar face in the crowd at one of these stops may hold the key to Romney's VP pick. If Romney were to select Karl Childers as his running mate, the VP debate would be a fair fight for the ages. –Dale 

Thursday, May 17, 2012

The Janitor From Jekyll Island

Hold on! Is Barry engaging in honest work for the first time? Nah, he's just doing what Collectivists do, collecting his cut. –Dale

Thursday, May 10, 2012

It Gets Better

Sodom, 1711 B.C., Mayor Savage attempts to bring order to the streets. In the background we see Outocloset Barackum lunging blindly at Lunchbuggery Joe, before Joe's statements force Barackum to come out in favor of dietary hair. America, 2012 A.D., the public schools are exposing kids to a professional degenerate and his agenda, wrapped in a so-called, anti-bullying campaign. Worse yet, professional politicians pander to destructive interest groups for the sake of personal power. The blind leading the double blind?–Dale

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Froward

Hey Obamatons, you can make history again. –Dale

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Late Night Lackey

NBC slow jams the propaganda. The latest sickening spectacle is seen here in an Obama's-eye view, from the set of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. There wasn't a dry seat in the house. The starry-eyed UNC audience cheered like baby seals ready for the clubbing. Fallon was reminiscent of Dracula's Renfield, luring the kids back to the castle. For a second, I thought I heard "Hail to the Thief" being played by Questlove and his crappy band. No such luck. In the last seconds of the show, Jimmy disclaimed, "We don't take sides politically on our show, but..." Who knows, maybe Fallon will host an hour with Mitt Romney from the campus of BYU, with musical guests Donny and Marie? –Dale

Thursday, April 19, 2012

On The Ordering Of Species

Since the days of Darwin, evolutionists have repeatedly had to extend the time necessary for life to have accidentally occurred. Similarly, Marxocrats keep enlarging the amount of money it will take for their lame theory to work. One thing's for sure, it's a dog eat dog world. –Dale

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Keynes Mutiny

Meanwhile back at the White House, President Obama repairs to the Clinton walk-in humidor to take a break from demagoguing the decoy issue of the day. But the paranoid elephant in the room is the stunningly poor economic prowess of "The One." Perhaps one of the few former Presidents Barry hasn't compared himself with will have some insight for him. Hint: Obama is the one on the left, of course. –Dale

Thursday, April 5, 2012

The Fair-Share Hare





Easter day is dawning,
in little Algaetown.
The children there are smiling,
'cause it's frowned upon to frown.

Colored eggs and candy,
piled high into a heap.
The children there are hungry,
to discover what they'll keep.

Then the Fair-Share Hare arrives,
late for goodness sake.
The children there are helpless,
to surrender what he'll take.

Happy Easter –Dale



Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Anger Games

Good news, manufacturing is up in Washington! Rage baiter-in-chief, Barry Obama has manufactured yet another polarization wall, all whilst searching America's soul. Can't you just smell the rainbow? The only thing more bankrupt than the economy is leftist morality. The lefty political triad of division by Race (Martin/Zimmerman case), Class (Occupy) and Sex (Sandra Fluke's condom crisis) is complete. Barry never misses an opportunity to bring us together by pitting us against each other. Can't wait for one of Obama's Comedian Corps to joke that if Barry had a son, he'd more likely look like the UPS guy. –Dale

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Triumph of the Swill

Forrest Gump has got to be on something considerably more potent than the standard Libutard Kool-Aid. Has Hollywood everyman, Tom Hanks finally reached his Soon-Yi moment? That point in time where an entertainer's extra-curricular activities render him unwatchable. For me, he achieved that status when he lent his talents to Opie and Dan Brown's effort to drag the name of Christ through the dirt in "The DaVinci Code" movie. But for the more patriotically minded, his choice to narrate Obama for America's 17 minute, Leni Riefenstahl style propaganda piece, "The Road We've Traveled," has got to be the last straw. You'd think leftist compassion would've driven Obamaton Tom and Barack to offer the gig to some unemployed voice-over guy with better pipes than Hanks. I guess "the heart wants what the heart wants." –Dale

Thursday, March 15, 2012

The Endless Summer of Recovery 3


What up vassals?! Surf's up, and Barry is preparing for his third annual Summer of Recovery. With a national news media that puts the Soviet era's Pravda and Izvestia to shame, the O-conomy will be reported as improving and moving in the right direction. Unfortunately for Obama and his media cheerleaders, all of us that pay for our own food and pump our own gas know better. We know he's jumping the shark, big time. –Dale





Inspired by a nightmare from the editor of All Right Magazine.


Thursday, March 8, 2012

Big Patriotism

Andrew Breitbart 1969-2012

The fearless citizen journalist who never let the lies of the left go unchallenged, understood the left. Like cockroaches, leftists do their best work in the dark, but when the lights come on, the bugs scatter. Breitbart was a great light. May his family and friends find comfort and peace in this time of sorrow. –Dale

Click to visit the new Breitbart site.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Go Ogle Yourself

Is Big Brother watching you? If Google Chairman Eric Schmidt is your older brother, or even if he isn't, the answer is yes. In spite of strong objections from 36 State Attorneys General, Google plans to commence tracking its users on March 1st. Schmidt, an Obama mega-doner, probably doesn't have to worry about U.S. Attorney General, Eric Holder having any concern for the privacy of the public. After all, everything Schmidt collects won't require a warrant to be accessed. Our info should be almost as easy to get as an AK-47 in Mexico. If Google should accidentally lose our information, they'll probably still be able to get it from the Chinese. We must fight back against this Cyber-ogling. On the count of three, everybody google... Orwellian. –Dale

Thursday, February 23, 2012

The X'd Files

Special Agents Scuzzy and Mullah are on their strangest case ever. The super secret Taqiyya division of the FBI has been formed by the Obama administration, to root out insults to Islam inside the Bureau. American Muslim front groups major in squealing at every perceived slight to their religion. Strange, we don't hear a peep out of them or their collaborators in Washington as their Muslim brothers in the Islamic ruled world, daily set fire to Christian churches and persecute, torture and murder the members. Since it appears that sunrise qualifies as a cause for rage to the practitioners of the religion of peace, Scuzzy and Mullah's job should be an endless one. –Dale 

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Is The Pope Catholic?

In 2008 54% of Catholics voted for Barack Obama. How's that working out? In his second day in office, he overturned Reagan's Mexico City Policy, freeing up foreign aid money to be used for abortions. Planned Parenthood now receives half of a billion dollars a year in tax money. At this year's National Prayer Breakfast, the President stopped just short of crediting Jesus Christ with authorship of the Communist Manifesto. So why were Catholics shocked when a week later, he added another course of bricks to what Reagan called "the Wall of Hostility to religion" by decreeing that Catholic charities pay for practices which their religion classifies as sin? Hopefully, in subsequent elections, Catholics will choose not to vote for, much less idolize any politician that favors the monstrous practice of abortion. Will a politician who doesn't respect innocent human life have any regard for the first amendment? Does a bear relieve himself in the woods? –Dale  Further Reading: 7 Arguments for Infanticide

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Mitt Life Crisis

What's contorting right-wing heroine Ann Coulter? Could her unflagging devotion to Mitt Romney be as simple as a mid-life return to a sorority girl crush? Maybe the real Ann Coulter is being held hostage at the Oasis Vineyard, and being impersonated by Michaele Salahi? Or is it possible that Ann doesn't really believe in anything. A successful female version of Stephen Colbert, saying and doing outrageous things that get attention and sell books. Just another publicity... enthusiast? The Salahi conspiracy makes the most sense to me. –Dale 

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Coo, coo, ca-Eeew

Newt Gingrich managed to crawl out from under the Cap and Trade sofa and has barely survived Mitt Romney's Scorched Earth media blitzes. But can he escape the political chemical peel that Nancy Pelosi (doing her best Norma Desmond), threatened to unleash on him? What is the "something she knows?" A little known groundless rumor has surfaced about a short-lived Congressional theater group, organized by Dem fatale, Nancy Pelosi in the early 1990's. Convinced that the perfect roll for her was that of Super-Cougar, Mrs. Robinson, Nancy got busy on her own adaptation of "The Graduate." Funds were appropriated, auditions were held, casting photos were taken and publicity posters were run. Suddenly the money was gone and the troupe was disbanded. Could there be another couch in Newt's peccadillo prone past? –Dale

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Old Red Red and Red

Talk about your red flags. Barry Obama in a demonstration of extreme recycling, used the State of the Union address to pound the same old fairness drum that the Bolsheviks used to whip up proletariat discontent in 1917 Russia. Obama has put his own twist on it this time, by including the Bourgeoisie (middle-class), pretending to be their champion too. The craven moderates among us will only see that Barry is doing his  well meaning yet misguided best to spruce up the well of the house. A couple more government agencies to get it done is not such a big deal, can't we find common ground? Now, how many OSHA violations can you find pictured here? –Dale 

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Angel Management

First Lady Michelle Obama is dismayed that she is perceived to be female, black and angry. Why can't we see her for the angel she is? She devotes herself to helping military families become a new victim class, while Barry works to send 80,000 of them to the unemployment line. She shoulders the burden of being the only one in America to care what our kids eat. Well, it looks like phony baloney has been approved for the menu. The woman who said, "For the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm proud of my country." and "America is a downright mean country." and "To be justified in your ignorance, that's America." Just sounds a little on edge to us. Maybe she just needs a vacation or better yet, maybe she needs to turn to Barry and shout, "LET'S MOVE!" –Dale 

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Tebow in the Termite Mound

In the Babylon of Daniel the prophet, worshipping the wrong God openly got you a one-way ticket to the Lion's Den. The same offense today gets you thrown into America's leftist media Termite Mound. Bill Maher, Bill Press and their ilk are to our social fabric what the termite is to architecture. The two Bills spearheaded the recent vicious attacks on Tim Tebow. His crime, he openly loves Jesus. Then he started to win games, culminating in last week's wildcard game. John 3:16 became the number one Google search the following morning. The introduction to the Good News of salvation through Jesus Christ went out to millions. God was glorified, and some were certainly saved, which is primarily what Tebow and every believer prays for. Entertaining football is a bonus. Go Tebow! –Dale
Click for more amazing Tebow stats.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

More

Barry Obama, the undisputed champion of single syllable sloganeering, is seen here fixing the economy with another injection of borrowed money. To finance himself and his cronies in the name of phony justice, he wants a debt ceiling rise of 1.2 Trillion...MORE. It's going to take a four syllable word to remedy this problem...IN-TER-VEN-TION. –Dale