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DALETOONS ARE HERE AND SO ARE YOU

No matter how you wound up here, I hope you enjoy your stay.
Please click on images to view enlargements –Dale

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Green With Entropy

Sure, it's just a table lamp Al picked up in Oslo, not a real Planet Savers Intergalactic Appreciation award, but it will have to do until all the fools on Earth see the importance of this great man. Maybe it would be easier to see if everything wasn't being illuminated by those wimpy toxic bulbs? –Dale

Monday, December 20, 2010

The Spirit of Christmas Passed

What if you crossed Sir Cedric Hardwicke with Bruce Willis? Why would anybody want to do that? No, the central figure in this picture is Christopher Hitchens. Hitchens, an undisputed master of the poison pen, is a gifted writer and speaker, who describes himself as an "Antitheist", which I gather is an active form of atheism. Odd how much vitriol the militant atheist can whip up for a figment of other people's imaginations.

Setting out to do a piece on the "War on Christmas," and considering Mr. Hitchens to be a four-star general in that war, I began researching him, and was sad to discover that Christopher Hitchens has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. This terrible fact doesn't change the untenable nature of his stated position on the existence of God, but I hope everyone who visits here will pray for this suffering man still at war with the God who declared peace with all of us on the first Christmas. –Dale (More on the subject in the Comments box)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Base Jumping

Castro is knocking at death's door, Che is a faded tee-shirt. Obama has been in power for almost two years! Where are the re-education camps for the ignorant masses and the mass graves for the hopelessly stupid? The lunatic left are smelling something rotten, (probably a result of being beside themselves), believing their savior has abandoned them. Hope is slipping away from Barry's base, but a few of the faithful fight through their rage and log onto www.realwhitehouse.gov for a secret message of comfort from the One. –Dale

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

When Pigs Fly

An engorged TSA giving us enhanced pat downs or irradiating our once privates is a prohibitively invasive and expensive enterprise. Perhaps a free market, or more specifically, a farmer's market solution to the exploding Muslim problem in our skies would make more sense. Then guys like Yusuf Islam, formerly, Cat Stevens, a.k.a., Islamo-Joe, would self screen at the gate. On a side note: Why is it that when pop stars like Cat Stevens go off the deep end, they never go crazy enough to offer refunds to their former fans? –Dale

Friday, November 19, 2010

Yes We Clam!

Pure shellfishness, that's all it is. That little something that causes Americans to clam up in the presence of greatness. No matter how hard he tries, Barry just can't lower his intellect enough to make us understand that global socialism is the best idea since the cookie cutter. –Dale

Friday, November 12, 2010

Squishnu

Since jumping the shrimp at Martha's Vineyard this summer, Barry has had a tough time finding worshipers. But in India, where gods are a rupee a dozen, he found an audience already primed for mysterious double-talk.
–Dale

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Project Midway

Applying the vitiated cultural obsessions of 2010's American left to 1942's heroic struggle for national survival produces some frightening prospects. If Don't Ask, Don't Tell is repealed we can also say sayonara to the Conduct unbecoming statutes of the UCMJ, unless poor accessorizing counts. –Dale

Enemy of the State


"If ever time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin." – Samuel Adams

Barry characterized us as enemies, and it looks like our first return volley has been a good one. Good show voters! –Dale

Monday, October 25, 2010

Reid Between the Lions

Liberal Christmas (Halloween) is almost here again and Harry Reid is conjuring up all the demagogic help he can get to keep his position as the dumbest Senator since Joe Biden. So, as you prepare to celebrate death and extortion this year, consider lighting a jack-o-lantern for Harry's memory. Dirty Trick or Treat!

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Punt for Red October

Coming November 2 to a polling place near you. IN A WORLD where everyone is seeing red, and there’s only one chance to climb back up the slippery slope of socialism, a troubled nation seeks redemption. – AllRightMagazine


Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to reenact it. The DC chapter of the Red October Reenactors are seen here practicing for the November 2nd festivities. The theme of the event was foreign campaign money. The keynote speaker, George Soros, hails from Hungary, our 51st state. –Dale

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Die Schlange!

THIN SKIN IN THE GAME: Paste a Hitler mustache on a picture of your favorite political enemy and bingo, instant unspeakably evil monster. The American left has been engaging in this art form since at least Nixon, and reached its zenith with George W. Bush. Strangely, the moment some enterprising LaRouchie Tea Party crasher applied the same technique to a photo of The One, Lefty used the occasion to go berserk on the First Amendment via Hate Crimes legislation. Do these jackboots make me look fat? Okay, Hitler's ears were not as pronounced as Obama's, but if we go below skin depth, what do we find?


HAIRY SITUATION: Is President Barack Hussein Obama merely a hapless liberal Democrat embracing ideas foreign to America's foundation or is he an evil mastermind with world domination on his mind, or just a charismatic mouthpiece for a larger movement with world domination on its mind? Who knows? Hey, did Nimrod have any distinctive facial hair?

–Dale


(to save space, my rambling diatribe is continued in comments section)

Friday, September 17, 2010

Reigning the Swamp

In 2006 when Nancy Pelosi first bobbed to the surface as Speaker of the House, she promised to "drain the swamp." About six weeks ago, friends at Logistics Monster suggested a portrait of Nanna P. as Queen of the Crocs. To the left is the result. If God has mercy on us this November 2, Nancy's reign of terror will fade to bad dream status, but we should never forget.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Katie in the Wilderness

What's that up ahead, a deer in the headlights? Naw, it's just old Katie Couric doing her best Tokyo Rose in the woods. Problem is Rose knew what she was saying and had a larger audience. It begs the question, if Katie reads White House talking points in the woods, is anyone paying attention? –Dale

Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Hidden Imam

Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the latest spokesmodel from the deceit wing of the religion of pieces, is hiding out in style on the taxpayer's dime, kind of like our President. This is only one of many similarities that are surfacing between Islam and the American Left. Surely a bridge has been built between the two groups, the strongest link being an overwhelming fear of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The fear is so strong that lefty is suddenly concerned with freedom of religion in America, supporting turning Ground Zero into a Jihadist trophy, like the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, the Hagia Sophia in Constantinople or Church of St. Vincent in Cordoba. Whether behind an iron curtain or silk veil, the kingdom of darkness is always suppressing the same thing... light. So throw another blanket over that Cross Barry. –Dale

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Sayin' Yes to the Mess

For Barney Frank to become a blushing bride, he'll first need to develop the ability to blush. Any dreams of a California beach wedding for Malibu Barney will have to wait for a while because the 9th Circuit Court put same sex marriage on hold. While some hold their breath, liberal politicians wanting to get elected in November, are breathing a sigh of relief, not to have to defend another thwart of the will of the people. Society will need to sink a bit more for a scene like this to not make anybody's skin crawl. Until the beach opens up, the deviant diva will just have to satisfy himself with destroying America from the House. –Dale

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Baroque Obama

A life of public service is its own reward, besides, there are a precious few that can pull off wearing ermine in August. Instead of grumbling about the first family being out of touch, let's try to vicariously enjoy the high life that the Fun-in-the-Sun King and Michelle Antoinette are so selflessly living on our behalf. –Dale

As yet another vacation takes place, rumor has it that the King of Fun in the Sun is in the market to buy the medieval castle in Versailles, Kentucky… after the trip, of course. – All Right Magazine

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Harboring No Resentment

We need to take any advice from Bloomberg with a grain of salt... oh yeah... he outlawed salt. Oh well, if Cordoba house is built, how long before the Imams decide that 9-11 is an infidel lie, Manhattan was founded by their prophet, therefore Ground Zero is a top ten Muslim holy site. Submit or die dogs. –Dale

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Fool Court Prez

Barry Obama is one History-Making Machine! The first sitting U.S. President to appear on daytime T.V. (except F.D.R. according to Joe Biden). Going on The View trying to regain the flagging Soft-headed Woman vote may work for him, but he needs to be very judicious in his choice of daytime fare. Not everyone on the day side of the tube is so susceptible to Obamboozling. –Dale

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Cracker Crumbs

BANNED ON FREE REPUBLIC
Last week before the Shirley Sherrod dust up, sweet little Michelle Obama was dispatched by the White House to stir up the faithful at the NAACP. She provided plenty of fifty year old Jim Crow on the menu and insinuated that Whitey was responsible for crumbling black schools (that must not have been shovel-ready when all the stimulus cash was flowing), and disproportionate black prison populations. For the record, she did sprinkle in a thin veil of "concern" for black childhood obesity. Shortly thereafter, the National Association Against Cracka Peckerwoods condemned (without evidence) the Tea Party Movement as RACIST while failing to even mention the New Black Panther Party's call for the wholesale murder of white Americans. Thank goodness we're in a post-racial America, or what the Obama administration is up to might be really dangerous and destructive. –Dale

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Mad Mel-Beyond Thick-n-dumb

Aren't the streets of Tinseltown paved with gold? Judging by what Mel keeps stepping in, it seems the streets around Gibson's place must be paved with something else. Curb your dogs, people! You too Mel.–Dale

Friday, July 9, 2010

The Gory Details

Monica Lewinsky may have saved the republic by derailing the Clinton Express. Could Oregon masseuse, Molly Hagerty be saving the world from history's biggest scam artist? Hope Al and Tipper repair their marriage and leave the rest of us alone. –Dale

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I Can See November

Looking July 4, Feeling November 2

Ooooooooh. Ahhhhhhhh. Nothing like a grand finale on

Independence Day. – All Right Magazine


Happy Independence Day!

Thanks to Logistics Monster for the inspiration.

–Dale

Thursday, June 24, 2010

The Statue of Amnesty

Is there anything more disgusting than today's Democratic Party politics? Maybe our national future? Liberals support the near-slave status of Illegal aliens in a thinly veiled attempt to capture a new voting block to keep themselves in power. While their mouths prattle on about how much they care about the downtrodden, their hands are picking every pocket to finance our destruction. Maybe there will be enough in the coffers to build this monument of hope on our southern border. It's a cinch that it's as close as we'll get to building a fence. –Dale

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Miss Me Yet?

The short answer to Jimmy's question is of course, No. At least Barry will get us off foreign oil by closing down domestic production. If that makes no sense to you... well ... you're stupid. Just follow Obama to "Can't say where," by way of, "Can't say how." Hmm... Hang in there Jimmy. –Dale

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Love Me Doo

How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people? Ask Sir Paul McCartney, the cute Beatle. Unfortunately, what's cute on an infant, isn't on a grown man. So it was when Paul decided to verbally unload a full diaper's worth of peace-filled, loving effete snobbery on better than half of Amurrikuh at an award ceremony in the taxpayer financed Libarry uh Congress. Every notion he's ever endorsed has turned out to be false, destructive or both. So, when Paul urges us to lay off of Barack Obama because he's a great guy, do we figure the Dork Knight is finally right or go on his abysmal track record?

Bonus: View this toon in a mirror to get an urgent message from Sir Paul. –Dale

Monday, May 31, 2010

Fixing A Hole

A hole: an area whre someting is missng.

Money, the duct tape of big government can fix anything. Imagine how many more Mexicrats could stream north to vote if that giant scar in the Arizona landscape were no longer an obstacle. Forget the Albert Hall, now we know how many holes it takes to fill the Grand Canyon! –Dale

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Hope on Hold

As the BP oil rig continues to gush, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal takes a moment to talk to the animals while waiting for President Doolittle to approve his plan to mitigate the damage to the Louisiana shoreline. Barry "The One" Obama, might do well to listen to "Slick" the unidentifiable sea bird, stop looking for political opponents to blame for the catastrophe and act presidential for a minute. –Dale

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Woody's World

As America slips toward banana republic status, the Hollywood left's favorite nebbish opens his mouth to share his genius with us, but not his bubble gum chunk cone. He's got other plans for that. –Dale

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Photo Op Goes The Weasel

While attempting to be Christ-like is generally a good thing, we do not recommend attempting to be Crist-like. All Right Magazine

Republican Governor Charlie Crist, until running up against Marko Rubio had always maintained that he was a staunch Reagan conservative. Crist, ever the servant of the people, putting principle above politics, and tanning above everything, has since been forced to to run as an Independent, but is managing to keep his Reagan connections... sort of. –Dale

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Jay Watcher

One-time Tonight Show host, Conan O'Brien finally breaks his silence and seems to have Leno on the brain. Look into the eyes of true misery. A misery that even a 32 million dollar severance package and a new job in the fall can't cure. If you are an unemployed factory worker still looking for work in the hope-topia that all these late-night liberal clowns helped foist on us, whose severance package consisted of a pat on the head and a hearty "good luck", I hope you'll gain some perspective. –Dale

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Of Mice and Mendacity

It looks like a certain mouse with a sombrero has just made a left turn at Albuquerque, and he’s not the only one! –All Right Magazine

Look out Seedy, los gatos! Like a pair of vote-seeking missiles, cool cats Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have been launched at Arizona by the White House. We can only hope that the cries of Nazi-ism and terrorism leveled against our 48th state by the world's largest anchor babies don't come too late to save Post-Racial America. –Dale

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A Nightmare on Wall Street

Wake up America! Freddy Krugerrand is prowling Wall Street looking for someone to skewer. Not to worry, the deformed reformer is only after fat cats, fall guys and whipping boys, so back to sleep. –Dale

Thursday, April 15, 2010

INFILTRAiTOR

April 15th 2010 - A new magazine debuts and President Obama is on the cover. Where does he find the time? Complete with carefully misspelled signage, the agent provocateur-in-chief is seen here rallying unwitting Tax Day Teapartiers to do something stupid... like following him. –Dale

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Mad Dogs and Congressmen

Mad Dog Congressmen should go out in the midterm elections. Grayson's reign of terror should "die quickly." The unintended consequences of this thug's ouster from power may present a real problem in an increase of car chasing incidents, especially for ambulance drivers. –Dale

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Star Chamber of Horrors

Capitalism, in its heyday, was famous for the “Axe Man,” someone in the company responsible for handing out pink slips. Nowadays, corporate execs themselves need to be on the lookout for the “Wax Man.” –All Right Magazine

From the Capitol's little known Dorian Gray room, the hill's most feared homunculus, Henry Waxman and fig leaf model Bart Stupak prepare to make an example of CEOs that won't get their minds right. Paging Joe McCarthy. –Dale

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

What Change Looks Like

Buy Poster Here

Filled with the power of DEMocracy, the President takes time out to salute freedom loving Americans. –Dale

As it were, 18th century parchment makes for great 21st century confetti. File this one under reuse and recycle. –All Right Magazine

Thursday, March 18, 2010

All the Rage

Caught between Iran and a hard place, what’s Israel to do, and with friends like Mrs. Clinton, who needs enemies? – All Right Magazine

Looks like the Obama mideast policy favors the erection of missile launchers in Gaza to the erection of apartments in Jerusalem. Even super appeaser Jimmy Carter is calling for pre 1967 borders again, you know, back when the Arabs were happy... oh... nevermind. Can whack-a-mohel on the Whitehouse lawn be far behind? Maybe people who live in Judea and Samaria just shouldn't throw stones. –Dale

Friday, March 12, 2010

Malice in Plunderland

Plunderland, a strange place inhabited by thugs, bugs and reverse leprechauns. This crowd is so out there, even Tim Burton may be unable to make them creepier. –Dale

Friday, March 5, 2010

Justice Submerged

Some guys can't get elected dog catcher, so thank goodness for political appointments. With the administration leaning back toward military tribunals, Eric Holder may be relegated to animal control, but wasn't that his job in the first place? –Dale

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Steam Me Up Scotty

Better than Coakley, better than Ted, but he's from Massachusetts, the leftist hotbed. If Brown isn't bothered by pre-born Americans being exterminated just because they're small, how can we be upset when he votes to add $15,000,000,000 of our money to Harry Reid's slush fund? After all, that's pretty small by today's stimulating standards too. –Dale

Friday, February 19, 2010

Captain Omerica

The National Endowment for the Arts in total cooperation with the American Left, have recognized an exciting new genre of art called, Exstretchionism. Exstretchionists are marked by their liberal use of spandex to wrap propaganda for consumption by the young. You'd think artists and writers would recoil at the thought of suppressing free speech, but not these guys. This new breed bravely follows the orders of their masters.

The Tea Party threat. Speaker Pelosi couldn't quash it with the "Astroturf" moniker, so it needed to be tied to something sinister that the sane would reject. The Washington Post, New York Times, and the usual suspects in the media are playing along, by taking great pains to associate the Tea Partiers with McVeigh, Kaczynski and today the murderer from Austin, Texas has made the list. But this threat is so serious, that credibility will be required. They needed Superhero endorsement! The rest of the true story here.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Uncle Samurai

Alinsky tactic #4: "Make the enemy live up to his own rules." The GM of GM, Chrysler, Banking, Student Loans, Etc., is going after the non-union Japanese competition (based in our southern states), using their own customs to eliminate them. The "Party of No" may want to pay attention. –Dale

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Highball with Chris Matthews

Speaking one's mind is not for everybody, especially when you're taking certain medications. Warning: May cause uncontrollable leg thrills. –Dale

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Barry The Fable Guy

Has anyone noticed the new “populist tone” of the President? The big guns have been called in to make the transformation, but can it dupe the likes of people bitterly clinging to guns and religion? –All Right Magazine

I heard that! The problem is us. We hear but don't understand. Maybe bringing marketing genius David Plouffe, back on board will enable the smartest president in history to communicate with us. The monster truck rally may never be the same. –Dale

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Amoral Abe

With the March for Life coming up in D.C., one has to wonder what if great figures of the past had taken the easy way out when it comes to the tough questions. Wonder no more. Click here for a great moment in alternative history. –All Right Magazine

Torn from the pages of what if history. President Obama loves to compare himself to honest Abe, but what if Lincoln had towed the same line on slaves as Obama tows on the unborn? And what if there were a complicit clergy towing the Rodney King anointing? –Dale

RadMen Redux

The Obama drama continues.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Grand Old Party Crashers

Could the Reid controversy distract Michael Steele from running the national Republican effort for ‘10? This picture suggests that it might.
–All Right Magazine

Unfortunate word choices abound when a pair of old school Democrats interrupt a surprised Michael Steele as he addresses the troops at an RNC meeting. Former president Clinton seemed most disturbed by a lack of service issue, while Senator Reid's problems were less clear... as if he were visiting from another planet? –Dale

Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Buck Starts Here

I inherited the worst economy since the Great Depression and two wars from the Bush Administration. And did I mention, it’s all Bush’s fault?–All Right Magazine

When you're pointing at others, you have 3 fingers in reserve. –Dale