Out of Order the Blog

Coo, coo, ca-Eeew

2012-02-02T11:30:00.000-08:00

Newt Gingrich managed to crawl out from under the Cap and Trade sofa and has barely survived Mitt Romney's Scorched Earth media blitzes. But can he escape the political chemical peel that Nancy Pelosi (doing her best Norma Desmond), threatened to unleash on him? What is the "something she knows?" A little known groundless rumor has surfaced about a short-lived Congressional theater group, organized by Dem fatale, Nancy Pelosi in the early 1990's. Convinced that the perfect roll for her was that of Super-Cougar, Mrs. Robinson, Nancy got busy on her own adaptation of "The Graduate." Funds were appropriated, auditions were held, casting photos were taken and publicity posters were run. Suddenly the money was gone and the troupe was disbanded. Could there be another couch in Newt's peccadillo prone past? –Dale

The Old Red Red and Red

2012-01-25T09:25:00.000-08:00

Talk about your red flags. Barry Obama in a demonstration of extreme recycling, used the State of the Union address to pound the same old fairness drum that the Bolsheviks used to whip up proletariat discontent in 1917 Russia. Obama has put his own twist on it this time, by including the Bourgeoisie (middle-class), pretending to be their champion too. The craven moderates among us will only see that Barry is doing his well meaning yet misguided best to spruce up the well of the house. A couple more government agencies to get it done is not such a big deal, can't we find common ground? Now, how many OSHA violations can you find pictured here? –Dale

Angel Management

2012-01-19T12:50:00.000-08:00

First Lady Michelle Obama is dismayed that she is perceived to be female, black and angry. Why can't we see her for the angel she is? She devotes herself to helping military families become a new victim class, while Barry works to send 80,000 of them to the unemployment line. She shoulders the burden of being the only one in America to care what our kids eat. Well, it looks like phony baloney has been approved for the menu. The woman who said, "For the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm proud of my country." and "America is a downright mean country." and "To be justified in your ignorance, that's America." Just sounds a little on edge to us. Maybe she just needs a vacation or better yet, maybe she needs to turn to Barry and shout, "LET'S MOVE!" –Dale

Tebow in the Termite Mound

2012-01-12T12:39:00.000-08:00

In the Babylon of Daniel the prophet, worshipping the wrong God openly got you a one-way ticket to the Lion's Den. The same offense today gets you thrown into America's leftist media Termite Mound. Bill Maher, Bill Press and their ilk are to our social fabric what the termite is to architecture. The two Bills spearheaded the recent vicious attacks on Tim Tebow. His crime, he openly loves Jesus. Then he started to win games, culminating in last week's wildcard game. John 3:16 became the number one Google search the following morning. The introduction to the Good News of salvation through Jesus Christ went out to millions. God was glorified, and some were certainly saved, which is primarily what Tebow and every believer prays for. Entertaining football is a bonus. Go Tebow! –Dale
Click for more amazing Tebow stats.

2012-01-05T08:23:00.000-08:00

Barry Obama, the undisputed champion of single syllable sloganeering, is seen here fixing the economy with another injection of borrowed money. To finance himself and his cronies in the name of phony justice, he wants a debt ceiling rise of 1.2 Trillion...MORE. It's going to take a four syllable word to remedy this problem...IN-TER-VEN-TION. –Dale

The Dawkins Delusion

2011-12-29T10:01:00.000-08:00

Atheist militant Richard Dawkins has produced a children's book entitled "The Magic of Reality" and in doing so has joined the Millstone Swim and Dive Club. Spreading his venom for God to kids under the guise of Scientism is about as putrid as it gets. Children using simple God-given logic conclude the existence of a creator. It requires an abandonment of logic to attain self omniscience and declare there is no God. The materialist's faith in the escape hatch of "there just wasn't enough evidence for me" won't wash on judgement day. Here's a book idea: The ghost of Christopher Hitchens, Jacob Marley style, appears to Richard Dawkins and sets him straight. Dickey would probably make a hash of it, too bad Hitchens isn't still around to write it. –Dale

Blame Bush

2011-12-22T04:56:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder why Barry seems so uncomfortable with all things Christmas? You'd think he and his government were in danger of bursting into flames at the mere mention of the word. Yet the first family has 37 trees in the White House. Upon closer inspection we find they're not Christmas trees at all, but actually Blame Bushes, symbols of an entirely different celebration. Happy Obamza? –Dale

Iconoclasm

2011-12-15T05:38:00.000-08:00

As we wave goodbye to the little bottle of sunshine known as the incandescent light bulb and prepare to submit to the government mandate to illuminate our lives with Compact Fluorescence, some reflection is in order. Aside from energy savings, the CFL is inferior in every way. They're slow to come on and give off a sickly glow, flooding your room with that Leningrad ambience. If you break one, forget about it, seal off the room and call in a Hazmat team. But what about the good ol' light bulb's status as an icon? The cartoon community is being robbed of an invaluable tool to convey the dawning of a bright idea. The downsides of the Leningrad Lamp continue to grow. A new adage for our times might be, "Use an unauthorized mousetrap and the appropriate government agency will beat down your door." –Dale

Compromising Positions

2011-12-07T06:08:00.000-08:00

And the Magoo goes to...General Colin Powell. The rhinoceros has very poor eyesight and is regularly observed charging tree trunks and termite mounds. Similarly, the R.I.N.O. is regularly observed attacking his own kind. Perennial turncoat, Colin Powell has charged the Tea Party with a foolish inability to compromise. But what does he propose we compromise with, Marxism? I guess so, since he saw fit to endorse Obama in the last election. If the Tea Party ever decides to hand out awards to conservative renegades, this Democrat 5th Column General should be among the first recipients. Better yet, the General needs to turn his coat inside out and just be the lefty he is. –Dale

Cheeky Peace

2011-11-30T06:57:00.000-08:00

Mahmoud, what are you doing?! First you claim to have captured CIA agents. Now you've unleashed "students" on the British Embassy. If you weren't nuts, you'd pipe down, sit back and let Barry allow Sharia to go viral all around you. Don't you realize that shouting DEATH TO AMERICA seriously hampers Barry's re-election plans? That's the one thing that can get you in serious trouble with the One. If you could only quiet your inner mad dog, Barry will take care of that DOWN WITH AMERICA thing for you too. –Dale

Pilgrim's Progressive

2011-11-22T08:00:00.000-08:00

1620, Plymouth Massachusetts. Our Out of Order historian has discovered a heretofore unknown Pilgrim Father named Squander Obama. Squander, along with a small contingent of other Communitarians had stowed away onboard the Mayflower during her historic voyage. While not a signatory to the Mayflower Compact, Obama was reported to have been present for the occasion. Amazingly, none of the Communitarians were adversely affected during "The Starving Time" that first winter, in fact, they seemed quite robust as they watched half of the other colonists die. Happy Thanksgiving. –Dale

Dreams from My Second Term

2011-11-17T12:36:00.000-08:00

Barry Obama, the Anti-Reagan, having done for the word "HOPE" what homosexual activists have done for the word "GAY" is no longer happy to simply undo everything that Reagan accomplished in the United States. He dreams of bigger things, like taking a leading role in turning the world over to the enemies of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. –Dale

The Gospel of Marx

2011-11-10T05:02:00.002-08:00

Almost three years into his ministry, the real Messiah had eliminated disease in Israel and preached the Gospel of Peace with God to the entire nation without a teleprompter. How's the American left's smooth talkin' secular savior doing by comparison? With the complicity of a thoroughly corrupt leftist press, he has used the politics of race, class and sex to divide the country to near Civil War proportions. He has plundered the treasury for the sake of self and party, causing his enemies (us) to potentially finance the fundamental transformation of a once free society into one more socialist basket case. That's the problem with false messiahs, somebody else is always getting crucified. –Dale

Mitt on a Mission

2011-11-03T06:20:00.000-07:00

What is Mitt Romney peddling? If you said a bicycle you'd be partially right. Partially right just like Mitt's politics. He seems to have the Obamaesque ability to take both sides of any issue simultaneously. The establishment Republican intelligentsia seem to think that's a winning combination. But what about the third rail of Mitt's faith? Numero uno Latter-Day Saint, Mormon prophet Joseph Smith, declared orthodox Christianity to be an abomination. That orthodox Christians would be reluctant to assist in raising the stock of a candidate belonging to the organization espousing this notion comes as a shock to many in right-wing punditry. Shouldn't any organization in which Harry Reid is a member in good standing be viewed with suspicion? What the pundits and the RNC don't get is that the prime directive for Evangelical Christians is the dissemination of the Gospel. Christians must vote to retain as much religious freedom as possible, yet we are accused of religious bigotry and hatred for taking a candidate's religious affiliation into account when deciding whom to vote for. Christians do not hate Mormons, we simply believe them to be victims of a false religion, just as Barack Obama is a victim of Jeremiah Wright's twisted theology. If the choice is Romney or Obama... go Romney! P.S. If anyone is concerned that Mitt is pictured here breaking a helmet law, Mitt's hair officially qualifies as impact resistant. –Dale

More LDS information here

Bride of Frankenbarry

2011-10-27T06:58:00.001-07:00

At 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue the lines between trick and treat are being blurred beyond recognition. White House occupiers Barack and Michelle Obama are getting all reanimated over the approach of Liberal Christmas. Halloween, the one night of the year when extortion by threat of vandalism is alive in the streets. The rest of the year, it's just called domestic policy. –Dale

Choice of Toppings

2011-10-19T19:28:00.000-07:00

Herman Cain lacks the gooey extra cheese which is the hallmark of the professional politician. His 999 plan would remove the social engineering and lobbyist feeding trough features of our currently insane income tax scheme. Time will tell if there's still hope for a "Citizen Statesman" to lead in America. Maybe he's just what the founders ordered. –Dale

The Fleaparty-Occupying Mr. Bags

2011-10-13T04:27:00.000-07:00

What do we want?! EVERYTHING! When do we want it?! NOW! The cry of drug addled youth whipped up by leftist agitators. Glommunist Party Fleabaggers continue to demonstrate the Proletariat Sloth Ethic across the fruited plain. –Dale

Being Joe Biden

2011-10-06T07:53:00.001-07:00

Barack Obama's first executive decision, Joe Biden. Who better to keep a hawk eye on a mountain of stimulus cash. Obama was able to plumb the depths of the Biden mind maze to discover that any White House secret that entered there, had no chance of finding its way out. As for whistle blowing... what's a whistle? –Dale

Uninformed

2011-09-29T05:16:00.000-07:00

Morgan Freeman, one of Hollywood's finest empty vessels, has let fly with both empty barrels at the Tea Party movement. No big shock to discover that Freeman is just another Hollywood tool regurgitating poisonous lines fed to him by his leftist buddies. One would hope that he would accept the challenge from Herman Cain to attend a Tea Party rally to see for himself. He'd find the Tea Party to be a liberty driven movement where all are welcome, not the evil KKK lynch mob he says he envisions. Something tells me not to hold my breath waiting. Freeman's ability to play likable and wise characters prove him to be a truly great actor. –Dale

An open invitation to Morgan Freeman that's worth a read.

You Say You Want A Resolution

2011-09-22T06:45:00.000-07:00

It's that time again, when a cloud of mass-murderers descend on New York City, clustering in the U.N. General Assembly to condemn Israel and lobby for the carveout of a Palestinian state. Chief among them is Columbia University rock star, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who comes bearing the gift of released hostages. Looking to raise his "toast of the town" status, the soft and extremely fuzzy dictator may wish to adopt the language of another "lovable" authoritarian. "If you love me..." but what teenage girl hasn't heard that one before? If you really love him, pass the razor. –Dale

For further study, check out www.durbanwatch.com

Schemepunk'd

2011-09-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Leader has donned his safety goggles and rolled up his sleeves to pay his respects to yet another cutting edge company. Using the unknown element, Deceivium as its source of cheap renewable energy, the Amerikan Schemepunk Corporation is so forward thinking that they claim to be able to alter history to conform with the dreams of 19th century American Progressives. To Barry's way of thinking, it's well worth investing a couple of billion to get them off the ground. –Dale

The Hour of Islam 9-11-2001

2011-09-08T09:27:00.001-07:00

Remembering all who perished on that awful day, made in Mecca. –Dale

Rape of Justice

2011-09-01T06:25:00.000-07:00

Executive fiat. No, we're not buying an Italian car company yet, but executive orders are flying fast and furious. You see, the law is Barry's biggest impediment to "getting things done." Whether it's overturning DOMA, installing Cap and Trade through new EPA regulations or moving Don't Ask, Don't Tell to the INS, Barry and his crew are "getting things done." Things like one-party rule. –Dale

Aftershock

2011-08-24T06:33:00.001-07:00

An emergency page from my Barack Obama sketchbook.

Newsouique

2011-08-18T10:05:00.000-07:00

Barry's Battle-Axe Brigade have their hatchets and claws out for Michele Bachmann. Newsweek Editor-in-Chief Tina Brown, in a fit of Venus envy, published a cover photo of Bachmann designed to characterize the Congresswoman as, let's be civil... crazy. Vampirism aside (apologies to Ms. Huffington), what if Newsweek had been in existence during the time of Joan of Arc? French traitors might have been inspired to sell Joan to be burned at the stake... what's that? Some things never change. –Dale

The Truth

2011-08-11T03:55:00.000-07:00

Barry is packing for the rabble-free Vineyard again, taking a well deserved break from rabble-rousing. He stopped to pose with the one bust he won't be returning. –Dale

Great Apespectations

2011-08-04T04:28:00.000-07:00

The historic election of Barry Soetoro as President has overshadowed an equally historic event for animal rights activists. Bobo, a Tanzanian born Chimpanzee was chosen by the administration, to head the newly formed Bureau of Expectations. So, the next time you hear the Obama glee club, that passes for the Press in Omerica announce that, "unemployment numbers are higher than expected" or "home foreclosures unexpectedly spiked last month," you'll be able to put a really hairy face on the "information." –Dale

World of Class Warcraft

2011-07-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

Ultimate Mage, Spendor the Avaricious, is amassing his lying hordes for a powerful assault on the forces of reality. Role playing games will never be the same... at least not the game part. –Dale

Slack Jaws

2011-07-21T06:13:00.001-07:00

Slack-jawed with disbelief, we the people watch our government masters stand paralyzed as President Gilligan steers our leaky national ship into the maw of a monstrously voracious Super-State. A little more to the left Barry! –Dale

What Would Judas Do?

2011-07-14T12:41:00.000-07:00

Look what the sewer in front of Planned Parenthood HQ belched up. It's none other than Saint Charlie Rangel lecturing us on the morality of confiscating the people's earnings to finance more liberal societal rot. But wait... is Charlie going to be the first Democrat to figure out that nothing prevents him from paying all the tax he thinks God wants him to? Is he really putting his money where his mouth is? Naw, it's our money again. –Dale

The Merdas Touch

2011-07-08T11:13:00.000-07:00

Who knew that King Midas had a kid brother named Merdas? Now, Merdas had his own unique talent, in that, everything he touched turned to er... not gold. He imposed a Crapitalist economy in his short-lived kingdom, but was deposed by his angry subjects when they caught wind of his line of er... not the truth. –Dale

The Uninvited

2011-07-01T05:10:00.001-07:00

As if the President needed a reason to be petulant and sanctimonious, what if the White House threw a Green Politically Correct 4th of July picnic and nobody showed except crashers and poopers? It's that time again, May Day is long gone and Ramadan is still a long way off. The first couple are in holiday limbo. Individual liberty, being a foreign concept to the left, will cause poor Lefty to suffer through another jingoistic Independence Day. For the rest of us, let freedom ring! –Dale

Operation Facetious & Spurious

2011-06-23T08:14:00.000-07:00

Champion of justice, Eric Holder is seen here, down Mexico way, getting rid of some junk in his trunk. What do you do when you've got to have evidence to support your gun control fantasies? You can entrust the job to a rogue government agency, or just dream it up yourself. I'm sure border agent Brian Terry's family will understand that it takes some sacrifices to keep the Great Society moving. –Dale

Karlmic Consciousness

2011-06-16T07:18:00.000-07:00

Asking Richard Gere or any other liberal Hollywood Actorvist to empty their mind evokes an immediate response of, "done, now what?" Hollywood is pretty easy pickin's for a guy like the Dalai Lama, so why has the exiled ruler of Tibet recently declared, "I am a Marxist."? My guess is that next time, he wants to leave the White House by the front door. –Dale

A Hose By Any Other Name

2011-06-09T05:31:00.000-07:00

Congressman Anthony Weiner, in a last ditch effort to save his public sector job has chosen a flimsy, yet unique cover-up technique. What caused this once vaunted mosquito-like Democrat political hack to go so wrong? Weiner is a progressive leftist Democrat. As such, he rises in the morning, gargles the blood of the innocent unborn, then spends the rest of the day swimming in venomous lies fashioned to destroy his own country for political gain. When seen through this prism, posting his post looks like a pretty small thing. –Dale

To Hear From Eternity

2011-06-02T13:58:00.001-07:00

What brings Old Blue Eyes back to the land of the dying? Apparently a simple misunderstanding on Frank's part, but imagining our leaders putting our grandchildren trillions of dollars in hock to Godless commies is unthinkable. The only thing more far-fetched is printing money to be paid back by what you hope to find between your future sofa cushions. No matter how poorly news gets translated in the hereafter, Sinatra's critique is amazingly cogent. –Dale

Pirates of the Caliphate

2011-05-27T01:37:00.000-07:00

Turning a blind eye toward the Middle East, Barry throws in our national lot with Israel's enemies. With the rise of the "Arab Spring," the world's ducks appear to be lining up for something ugly. Obama's solution to the ugliness is a pre-1967 retro makeover for our only ally in the region. Looks to me as if Israel is being set up for a unanimous (unless the U.S. votes present) resolution of condemnation from the U.N., and a subsequent order to "protect" civilians from Israeli oppression. All of this could, of course, be avoided if Israel would just voluntarily walk the plank. -Dale

For Bible prophecy students: Check out this link on Islam's proposed worldwide caliphate. Islam and the 7 year Tribulation

Sofa Engineering

2011-05-19T04:48:00.001-07:00

What does GOP stand for? In Newt's case it means, Genius On Premises, just ask him. What are we the people looking for in a President? For starters it would be nice if he or she were able to identify the Red Menace when seated next to it, endorsing its agenda. Perhaps the era of Gingrich is over. –Dale

Battered Citizen Syndrome

2011-05-12T05:12:00.000-07:00

There you are, America, lying in the hospital with a broken jaw, a dislocated collar bone and in serious danger of losing your right eye. You told the doctors you fell down the stairs, but tell yourself that Barry's been under a lot of stress lately, and you just wouldn't listen when he told you to shut up. Maybe Barry's right to blame all of his failures on you and your former man. After all, jealousy is a sign of love isn't it? Just last week he killed a rat for you and you didn't show as much gratitude as you could have. He probably won't go off on you again, unless you do something to make him crazy. Oh no, here he comes, and you look a mess. Awww, he brought you roses…and a mean left hook. –Dale

The Spoils of Kinetic Military Action

2011-05-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

Bravo Obama! For the second time in his Presidential career, Barry has taken an action that actually benefits the United States. Strangely, both incidents involved muslim murderers taking rounds to the head, delivered by our magnificent military. The first was a Somali pirate, the second was Suleiman wannabe, Osama bin Laden. Now, it remains to be seen if Eric Holder will be bringing charges against Seal Team Six for violating a mass murderer's civil rights. –Dale

Fed Up

2011-04-28T05:06:00.000-07:00

The rich must really be feeling it now. The Fed's dilution of the money supply is cleverly picking their pockets and there's nothing they can do about it. As the moronic public cries about ever higher costs of living, Barry was busy crushing the Carnival Barker Revolt and dispatching Gentle Ben Bernanke to assuage a nation's fears... China, I guess. Brother can you spare 37 Zimbabwe bucks? –Dale

Dream Jobs

2011-04-21T06:08:00.001-07:00

What do you do with a six-figure employee who naps on the job? FIRE HIM. –All Right Magazine

Lunchbucket Joe, laser-focused on jobs, rolls up his hypothetical sleeves to pitch in as an air traffic controller for a night. It's reported that as the VP drifted off he gaffed, "Hey man, all these blinky lights are almost as f#@*ing hypnotic as one of Obama's rambling zzzzzzzzzz." –Dale

Outfoxed

2011-04-14T08:03:00.001-07:00

What do you do when your pet fox turns on you? I guess you could just chalk it up to being another sign of the times. Glenn Beck is certainly unlike anyone else in the pundit universe. I'll miss his invaluable service to the republic as a teacher of our founding principles and his willingness to meticulously follow the slime trails of the left. I'll also miss his exploration of current geopolitical events as they relate to Biblical eschatology (probably the straw that broke the fox's back). What I'll miss "not so much" are Glenn's attempts to Mormonize the Church of Jesus Christ of Everyday Saints. –Dale

Hearing Loss

2011-04-07T09:02:00.000-07:00

The U.S. Senate, home to America's out-of-touch aristocracy. Aside from being the worst place to look for presidential candidates, may soon be the worst place to exercise your freedom of speech. If Lindsey Graham's moistened finger thinks hearings on the First Amendment concerning Koran burning will win points with his fellow Senatards, on with the show. Burning any book is decidedly un-American. The suppression of ideas is better left to Nazis, Communists and the Sharia compliant. In 2008 we confiscated an American soldier's Bibles in Afghanistan, and burned them to win the hearts and minds of the populace, for whom our blood and treasure isn't quite enough. A dubious pastor burns a Koran in Florida and the crazies come out, in the Muslim world and in our Senate. –Dale

Whip My Hair

2011-03-31T05:52:00.001-07:00

Will he or won't he? If The Donald decides to run for President, his Secret Service detail will have some additional contingencies to consider. It's hard to say if Trump is serious about anything other than self aggrandizement, but his antics are entertaining... like Ross Perot's were... uh-oh. –Dale

Cool Handicap Luke

2011-03-24T06:29:00.000-07:00

The Hollywood rumor mill is all abuzz. Scuttlebutt has it that Barry Obama will star in an updated version of Cool Hand Luke. In the remake, Barry will play the part of Luke Hussein Jackson. Caught red handed cutting the heads off of statues of the founding fathers, Luke is sentenced to four years hard labor in a DC work camp called The White House. Addicted to R&R (Relaxation and Re-election), Luke repeatedly escapes captivity only to be dragged back to prison by his sadistic taskmaster, "Captain." Word has it that Strother Martin is coming out of deep retirement to reprise his role. The working title for the project is "Tin Cup Dictator." Filming is scheduled to begin in the fall of 2012. This reporter wishes it were sooner. –Dale

Cherry Blossoms and Rain

2011-03-16T08:22:00.000-07:00

Horns vs Dilemma

2011-03-10T08:56:00.000-08:00

Lost and saved alike can agree that if they never see Westboro's Phelps gang again, it will be too soon. The Supreme Court has found the cult's outrageous behavior to be protected by the First Amendment. Many on the right have disagreed with the decision because they rightly desire to protect the grief stricken families of fallen patriots from the evil taunts of the death loving Phelps family. If the government shuts down these jokers, who's next? The lefty media delights in describing the WBC as "Fundamentalist Christians." Nothing would please the left more than seeing the public proclamation of the actual Gospel in America made illegal, as it already appears to be in the Muslim stronghold of Dearborn, Michigan.

Every time Jesus attended a funeral a grave was left empty. –Dale

Wreckonomics

2011-03-03T11:00:00.001-08:00

The problem all of our kids will live with. America's first black president has taken a truly historic and promising event and used it to plunder the future. Barry's America, where race is used as a bludgeon to squelch honest debate and the weight of government is brought to bear on political enemies. With the help of corrupt union bosses, who tax their members for leftist largesse, he and his party are enriched. The only community Obama has ever organized is the basket case known as Chicago's 13th district. We're all Southside now. –Dale

Hell's Bellboy

2011-02-24T07:03:00.001-08:00

Socialist poster boy Muammar Gaddafi has been a favorite of the American Left since the evil Ronald Reagan launched a retaliatory air strike against Mad Dog Muammar in 1986. Libya is now the flaming domino of the week in the ongoing Middle-East meltdown. The people of these Islam rich countries appear to crave the noble goal of freedom from oppressive dictators. The problem is, once the tyrants are gone, what is there to replace them? Islam's seething hatred of Israel and Christianity would appear to be the binding tie. Barry and the gang will call it Democracy and further distance the USA from Israel. Bible prophecy students might think the lid on the bottomless pit is getting awfully loose. –Dale

Royal Roughage

2011-02-18T07:51:00.001-08:00

Michelle Antoinette, the queen of deified fiber, cares about you. After all, the them she's talking about is you. Too slack-jawed to feed yourselves properly, much less your kids, the First Lady is sacrificing herself by doing battle with Big Chow on our behalf. Unfortunately, Americans having freedom, will probably not eat from the list of State sponsored foods until the food you love is made too expensive to buy. Look what we're making them do! Let them eat taxes. –Dale

Disclaimer: No bustles were harmed during the making of this picture. As a matter of fact, no bustles were used.

Thanks to Red Lemur (Logistics Monster) for suggesting the theme.

So-so-ist

2011-02-10T06:34:00.000-08:00

He's got to be joking. Barry, his greasepaint still detectable, is on another charm offensive, doing his unbalanced best to get the "folks" to BELIEVE again. He began the campaign with his Anti-Reagan SOTU performance. Then, presumably representing the Baby Killer Babdists, he attended a prayer breakfast to profess his faith. Next stop FOX News, where Helper Monkey O'Really put him through the whitewash cycle (no spin). Finally, the Chamber of Commerce listened politely while he claimed to have their backs. What's next, an appearance at C-PAC? You've got to be joking. –Dale

Political Asylum

2011-02-04T17:09:00.000-08:00

Barry takes time out from padding the budget and unemployment numbers to pad a room in the White House for his latest Czar. Gunther will be economically sound, working for his fill of Fava beans and Chianti. He also has 26 homicidal personalities, making him more of a committee. A bargain as Obama Czars go. -Dale

Spin One For The Dipper

2011-01-26T09:19:00.001-08:00

It's dusk in America, but love is busting out all over Capitol Hill. In his State of the Union address, Barry and the accomplice press did their best to convince us that Barry's not a Marxist Spendaholic... better luck next time. –Dale

Roe v Wading

2011-01-20T15:36:00.001-08:00

Breaking with an old adage, yes indeed 53 million can be wrong. –All Right Magazine

As the anniversary of the American Holocaust rolls around again, Barry the Compassionate pauses to catch is own reflection. –Dale

Hair of the Dog

2011-01-13T06:11:00.001-08:00

MSNBC's war on decency has been in full tilt since the news broke on Saturday's Tucson atrocity. They and the MSM instantly laid blame for the murderous rampage at the feet of their political enemies. On the bright side, maybe we've seen the lowest point of our leftist propagandized media. The view from the bottom of the barrel is always up. –Dale

Disclaimer: I apologize to all truly rabid Americans afflicted with hydrophobia (due to a lack of adequate healthcare) for the foaming at the mouth imagery. No comparison to political hacks is intended.

Terrorbytes

2011-01-06T20:15:00.001-08:00

An inconsolable President seeks solace from human fog bank, Janet Napolitano. An agitated man in his mid to late forties with a muslim name, waving a junked laptop around the Oval Office. Lucky for Barry that Janet refuses to profile. Not so lucky that she has no such reservations about enhanced pat downs. –Dale

Green With Entropy

2010-12-29T05:48:00.000-08:00

Sure, it's just a table lamp Al picked up in Oslo, not a real Planet Savers Intergalactic Appreciation award, but it will have to do until all the fools on Earth see the importance of this great man. Maybe it would be easier to see if everything wasn't being illuminated by those wimpy toxic bulbs? –Dale

The Spirit of Christmas Passed

2010-12-20T05:15:00.000-08:00

What if you crossed Sir Cedric Hardwicke with Bruce Willis? Why would anybody want to do that? No, the central figure in this picture is Christopher Hitchens. Hitchens, an undisputed master of the poison pen, is a gifted writer and speaker, who describes himself as an "Antitheist", which I gather is an active form of atheism. Odd how much vitriol the militant atheist can whip up for a figment of other people's imaginations.

Setting out to do a piece on the "War on Christmas," and considering Mr. Hitchens to be a four-star general in that war, I began researching him, and was sad to discover that Christopher Hitchens has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer. This terrible fact doesn't change the untenable nature of his stated position on the existence of God, but I hope everyone who visits here will pray for this suffering man still at war with the God who declared peace with all of us on the first Christmas. –Dale (More on the subject in the Comments box)

Base Jumping

2010-12-08T13:43:00.001-08:00

Castro is knocking at death's door, Che is a faded tee-shirt. Obama has been in power for almost two years! Where are the re-education camps for the ignorant masses and the mass graves for the hopelessly stupid? The lunatic left are smelling something rotten, (probably a result of being beside themselves), believing their savior has abandoned them. Hope is slipping away from Barry's base, but a few of the faithful fight through their rage and log onto www.realwhitehouse.gov for a secret message of comfort from the One. –Dale

When Pigs Fly

2010-12-01T07:51:00.000-08:00

An engorged TSA giving us enhanced pat downs or irradiating our once privates is a prohibitively invasive and expensive enterprise. Perhaps a free market, or more specifically, a farmer's market solution to the exploding Muslim problem in our skies would make more sense. Then guys like Yusuf Islam, formerly, Cat Stevens, a.k.a., Islamo-Joe, would self screen at the gate. On a side note: Why is it that when pop stars like Cat Stevens go off the deep end, they never go crazy enough to offer refunds to their former fans? –Dale

Yes We Clam!

2010-11-19T08:44:00.001-08:00

Pure shellfishness, that's all it is. That little something that causes Americans to clam up in the presence of greatness. No matter how hard he tries, Barry just can't lower his intellect enough to make us understand that global socialism is the best idea since the cookie cutter. –Dale

Squishnu

2010-11-12T11:42:00.000-08:00

Since jumping the shrimp at Martha's Vineyard this summer, Barry has had a tough time finding worshipers. But in India, where gods are a rupee a dozen, he found an audience already primed for mysterious double-talk.

–Dale

Project Midway

2010-11-04T06:10:00.000-07:00

Applying the vitiated cultural obsessions of 2010's American left to 1942's heroic struggle for national survival produces some frightening prospects. If Don't Ask, Don't Tell is repealed we can also say sayonara to the Conduct unbecoming statutes of the UCMJ, unless poor accessorizing counts. –Dale

Enemy of the State

2010-11-04T04:33:00.000-07:00

"If ever time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin." – Samuel Adams

Barry characterized us as enemies, and it looks like our first return volley has been a good one. Good show voters! –Dale

Reid Between the Lions

2010-10-25T07:36:00.000-07:00

Liberal Christmas (Halloween) is almost here again and Harry Reid is conjuring up all the demagogic help he can get to keep his position as the dumbest Senator since Joe Biden. So, as you prepare to celebrate death and extortion this year, consider lighting a jack-o-lantern for Harry's memory. Dirty Trick or Treat!

The Punt for Red October

2010-10-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

Coming November 2 to a polling place near you. IN A WORLD where everyone is seeing red, and there’s only one chance to climb back up the slippery slope of socialism, a troubled nation seeks redemption. – AllRightMagazine

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to reenact it. The DC chapter of the Red October Reenactors are seen here practicing for the November 2nd festivities. The theme of the event was foreign campaign money. The keynote speaker, George Soros, hails from Hungary, our 51st state. –Dale

Die Schlange!

2010-10-07T07:31:00.001-07:00

THIN SKIN IN THE GAME: Paste a Hitler mustache on a picture of your favorite political enemy and bingo, instant unspeakably evil monster. The American left has been engaging in this art form since at least Nixon, and reached its zenith with George W. Bush. Strangely, the moment some enterprising LaRouchie Tea Party crasher applied the same technique to a photo of The One, Lefty used the occasion to go berserk on the First Amendment via Hate Crimes legislation. Do these jackboots make me look fat? Okay, Hitler's ears were not as pronounced as Obama's, but if we go below skin depth, what do we find?

HAIRY SITUATION: Is President Barack Hussein Obama merely a hapless liberal Democrat embracing ideas foreign to America's foundation or is he an evil mastermind with world domination on his mind, or just a charismatic mouthpiece for a larger movement with world domination on its mind? Who knows? Hey, did Nimrod have any distinctive facial hair?

–Dale

(to save space, my rambling diatribe is continued in comments section)

Reigning the Swamp

2010-09-17T21:01:00.001-07:00

In 2006 when Nancy Pelosi first bobbed to the surface as Speaker of the House, she promised to "drain the swamp." About six weeks ago, friends at Logistics Monster suggested a portrait of Nanna P. as Queen of the Crocs. To the left is the result. If God has mercy on us this November 2, Nancy's reign of terror will fade to bad dream status, but we should never forget.

GET POSTER HERE

Katie in the Wilderness

2010-09-02T10:19:00.001-07:00

What's that up ahead, a deer in the headlights? Naw, it's just old Katie Couric doing her best Tokyo Rose in the woods. Problem is Rose knew what she was saying and had a larger audience. It begs the question, if Katie reads White House talking points in the woods, is anyone paying attention? –Dale

The Hidden Imam

2010-08-26T07:18:00.001-07:00

Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the latest spokesmodel from the deceit wing of the religion of pieces, is hiding out in style on the taxpayer's dime, kind of like our President. This is only one of many similarities that are surfacing between Islam and the American Left. Surely a bridge has been built between the two groups, the strongest link being an overwhelming fear of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. The fear is so strong that lefty is suddenly concerned with freedom of religion in America, supporting turning Ground Zero into a Jihadist trophy, like the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, the Hagia Sophia in Constantinople or Church of St. Vincent in Cordoba. Whether behind an iron curtain or silk veil, the kingdom of darkness is always suppressing the same thing... light. So throw another blanket over that Cross Barry. –Dale

Sayin' Yes to the Mess

2010-08-19T17:13:00.001-07:00

For Barney Frank to become a blushing bride, he'll first need to develop the ability to blush. Any dreams of a California beach wedding for Malibu Barney will have to wait for a while because the 9th Circuit Court put same sex marriage on hold. While some hold their breath, liberal politicians wanting to get elected in November, are breathing a sigh of relief, not to have to defend another thwart of the will of the people. Society will need to sink a bit more for a scene like this to not make anybody's skin crawl. Until the beach opens up, the deviant diva will just have to satisfy himself with destroying America from the House. –Dale

Baroque Obama

2010-08-12T13:03:00.001-07:00

A life of public service is its own reward, besides, there are a precious few that can pull off wearing ermine in August. Instead of grumbling about the first family being out of touch, let's try to vicariously enjoy the high life that the Fun-in-the-Sun King and Michelle Antoinette are so selflessly living on our behalf. –Dale

As yet another vacation takes place, rumor has it that the King of Fun in the Sun is in the market to buy the medieval castle in Versailles, Kentucky… after the trip, of course. – All Right Magazine

Harboring No Resentment

2010-08-05T05:33:00.001-07:00

We need to take any advice from Bloomberg with a grain of salt... oh yeah... he outlawed salt. Oh well, if Cordoba house is built, how long before the Imams decide that 9-11 is an infidel lie, Manhattan was founded by their prophet, therefore Ground Zero is a top ten Muslim holy site. Submit or die dogs. –Dale

Fool Court Prez

2010-07-29T07:40:00.001-07:00

Barry Obama is one History-Making Machine! The first sitting U.S. President to appear on daytime T.V. (except F.D.R. according to Joe Biden). Going on The View trying to regain the flagging Soft-headed Woman vote may work for him, but he needs to be very judicious in his choice of daytime fare. Not everyone on the day side of the tube is so susceptible to Obamboozling. –Dale

Cracker Crumbs

2010-07-22T08:48:00.001-07:00

BANNED ON FREE REPUBLIC

Last week before the Shirley Sherrod dust up, sweet little Michelle Obama was dispatched by the White House to stir up the faithful at the NAACP. She provided plenty of fifty year old Jim Crow on the menu and insinuated that Whitey was responsible for crumbling black schools (that must not have been shovel-ready when all the stimulus cash was flowing), and disproportionate black prison populations. For the record, she did sprinkle in a thin veil of "concern" for black childhood obesity. Shortly thereafter, the National Association Against Cracka Peckerwoods condemned (without evidence) the Tea Party Movement as RACIST while failing to even mention the New Black Panther Party's call for the wholesale murder of white Americans. Thank goodness we're in a post-racial America, or what the Obama administration is up to might be really dangerous and destructive. –Dale

Mad Mel-Beyond Thick-n-dumb

2010-07-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

Aren't the streets of Tinseltown paved with gold? Judging by what Mel keeps stepping in, it seems the streets around Gibson's place must be paved with something else. Curb your dogs, people! You too Mel.–Dale

The Gory Details

2010-07-09T06:41:00.001-07:00

Monica Lewinsky may have saved the republic by derailing the Clinton Express. Could Oregon masseuse, Molly Hagerty be saving the world from history's biggest scam artist? Hope Al and Tipper repair their marriage and leave the rest of us alone. –Dale

I Can See November

2010-07-01T06:44:00.000-07:00

Looking July 4, Feeling November 2

Ooooooooh. Ahhhhhhhh. Nothing like a grand finale on

Independence Day. – All Right Magazine

Happy Independence Day!

Thanks to Logistics Monster for the inspiration.

–Dale

The Statue of Amnesty

2010-06-24T13:39:00.000-07:00

Is there anything more disgusting than today's Democratic Party politics? Maybe our national future? Liberals support the near-slave status of Illegal aliens in a thinly veiled attempt to capture a new voting block to keep themselves in power. While their mouths prattle on about how much they care about the downtrodden, their hands are picking every pocket to finance our destruction. Maybe there will be enough in the coffers to build this monument of hope on our southern border. It's a cinch that it's as close as we'll get to building a fence. –Dale

Miss Me Yet?

2010-06-17T12:39:00.001-07:00

The short answer to Jimmy's question is of course, No. At least Barry will get us off foreign oil by closing down domestic production. If that makes no sense to you... well ... you're stupid. Just follow Obama to "Can't say where," by way of, "Can't say how." Hmm... Hang in there Jimmy. –Dale

Love Me Doo

2010-06-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people? Ask Sir Paul McCartney, the cute Beatle. Unfortunately, what's cute on an infant, isn't on a grown man. So it was when Paul decided to verbally unload a full diaper's worth of peace-filled, loving effete snobbery on better than half of Amurrikuh at an award ceremony in the taxpayer financed Libarry uh Congress. Every notion he's ever endorsed has turned out to be false, destructive or both. So, when Paul urges us to lay off of Barack Obama because he's a great guy, do we figure the Dork Knight is finally right or go on his abysmal track record?

Bonus: View this toon in a mirror to get an urgent message from Sir Paul. –Dale

Fixing A Hole

2010-05-31T21:20:00.000-07:00

A hole: an area whre someting is missng.

Money, the duct tape of big government can fix anything. Imagine how many more Mexicrats could stream north to vote if that giant scar in the Arizona landscape were no longer an obstacle. Forget the Albert Hall, now we know how many holes it takes to fill the Grand Canyon! –Dale

Hope on Hold

2010-05-26T04:48:00.000-07:00

As the BP oil rig continues to gush, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal takes a moment to talk to the animals while waiting for President Doolittle to approve his plan to mitigate the damage to the Louisiana shoreline. Barry "The One" Obama, might do well to listen to "Slick" the unidentifiable sea bird, stop looking for political opponents to blame for the catastrophe and act presidential for a minute. –Dale

Woody's World

2010-05-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

As America slips toward banana republic status, the Hollywood left's favorite nebbish opens his mouth to share his genius with us, but not his bubble gum chunk cone. He's got other plans for that. –Dale

Photo Op Goes The Weasel

2010-05-13T13:33:00.000-07:00

While attempting to be Christ-like is generally a good thing, we do not recommend attempting to be Crist-like. –All Right Magazine

Republican Governor Charlie Crist, until running up against Marko Rubio had always maintained that he was a staunch Reagan conservative. Crist, ever the servant of the people, putting principle above politics, and tanning above everything, has since been forced to to run as an Independent, but is managing to keep his Reagan connections... sort of. –Dale

Jay Watcher

2010-05-05T13:31:00.000-07:00

One-time Tonight Show host, Conan O'Brien finally breaks his silence and seems to have Leno on the brain. Look into the eyes of true misery. A misery that even a 32 million dollar severance package and a new job in the fall can't cure. If you are an unemployed factory worker still looking for work in the hope-topia that all these late-night liberal clowns helped foist on us, whose severance package consisted of a pat on the head and a hearty "good luck", I hope you'll gain some perspective. –Dale

Of Mice and Mendacity

2010-04-29T05:48:00.000-07:00

It looks like a certain mouse with a sombrero has just made a left turn at Albuquerque, and he’s not the only one! –All Right Magazine

Look out Seedy, los gatos! Like a pair of vote-seeking missiles, cool cats Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have been launched at Arizona by the White House. We can only hope that the cries of Nazi-ism and terrorism leveled against our 48th state by the world's largest anchor babies don't come too late to save Post-Racial America. –Dale

A Nightmare on Wall Street

2010-04-21T15:24:00.000-07:00

Wake up America! Freddy Krugerrand is prowling Wall Street looking for someone to skewer. Not to worry, the deformed reformer is only after fat cats, fall guys and whipping boys, so back to sleep. –Dale

INFILTRAiTOR

2010-04-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

April 15th 2010 - A new magazine debuts and President Obama is on the cover. Where does he find the time? Complete with carefully misspelled signage, the agent provocateur-in-chief is seen here rallying unwitting Tax Day Teapartiers to do something stupid... like following him. –Dale

Mad Dogs and Congressmen

2010-04-08T05:32:00.001-07:00

Mad Dog Congressmen should go out in the midterm elections. Grayson's reign of terror should "die quickly." The unintended consequences of this thug's ouster from power may present a real problem in an increase of car chasing incidents, especially for ambulance drivers. –Dale

Star Chamber of Horrors

2010-04-01T04:30:00.001-07:00

Capitalism, in its heyday, was famous for the “Axe Man,” someone in the company responsible for handing out pink slips. Nowadays, corporate execs themselves need to be on the lookout for the “Wax Man.” –All Right Magazine

From the Capitol's little known Dorian Gray room, the hill's most feared homunculus, Henry Waxman and fig leaf model Bart Stupak prepare to make an example of CEOs that won't get their minds right. Paging Joe McCarthy. –Dale

What Change Looks Like

2010-03-23T07:47:00.001-07:00

Buy Poster Here

Filled with the power of DEMocracy, the President takes time out to salute freedom loving Americans. –Dale

As it were, 18th century parchment makes for great 21st century confetti. File this one under reuse and recycle. –All Right Magazine

All the Rage

2010-03-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

Caught between Iran and a hard place, what’s Israel to do, and with friends like Mrs. Clinton, who needs enemies? – All Right Magazine

Looks like the Obama mideast policy favors the erection of missile launchers in Gaza to the erection of apartments in Jerusalem. Even super appeaser Jimmy Carter is calling for pre 1967 borders again, you know, back when the Arabs were happy... oh... nevermind. Can whack-a-mohel on the Whitehouse lawn be far behind? Maybe people who live in Judea and Samaria just shouldn't throw stones. –Dale

Malice in Plunderland

2010-03-12T12:16:00.001-08:00

Plunderland, a strange place inhabited by thugs, bugs and reverse leprechauns. This crowd is so out there, even Tim Burton may be unable to make them creepier. –Dale

Justice Submerged

2010-03-05T05:41:00.001-08:00

Some guys can't get elected dog catcher, so thank goodness for political appointments. With the administration leaning back toward military tribunals, Eric Holder may be relegated to animal control, but wasn't that his job in the first place? –Dale

Steam Me Up Scotty

2010-02-24T13:35:00.000-08:00

Better than Coakley, better than Ted, but he's from Massachusetts, the leftist hotbed. If Brown isn't bothered by pre-born Americans being exterminated just because they're small, how can we be upset when he votes to add $15,000,000,000 of our money to Harry Reid's slush fund? After all, that's pretty small by today's stimulating standards too. –Dale

Captain Omerica

2010-02-19T04:37:00.001-08:00

The National Endowment for the Arts in total cooperation with the American Left, have recognized an exciting new genre of art called, Exstretchionism. Exstretchionists are marked by their liberal use of spandex to wrap propaganda for consumption by the young. You'd think artists and writers would recoil at the thought of suppressing free speech, but not these guys. This new breed bravely follows the orders of their masters.

The Tea Party threat. Speaker Pelosi couldn't quash it with the "Astroturf" moniker, so it needed to be tied to something sinister that the sane would reject. The Washington Post, New York Times, and the usual suspects in the media are playing along, by taking great pains to associate the Tea Partiers with McVeigh, Kaczynski and today the murderer from Austin, Texas has made the list. But this threat is so serious, that credibility will be required. They needed Superhero endorsement! The rest of the true story here.

Uncle Samurai

2010-02-10T15:36:00.001-08:00

Alinsky tactic #4: "Make the enemy live up to his own rules." The GM of GM, Chrysler, Banking, Student Loans, Etc., is going after the non-union Japanese competition (based in our southern states), using their own customs to eliminate them. The "Party of No" may want to pay attention. –Dale

Highball with Chris Matthews

2010-02-04T07:22:00.000-08:00

Speaking one's mind is not for everybody, especially when you're taking certain medications. Warning: May cause uncontrollable leg thrills. –Dale