En Gourd

Pressure is increasing on Uncle Joe to step aside and allow Barack to pick a less embarrassing Democrat for the number two position on the ticket. Until such an event occurs, the Romney-Ryan team will have to prepare for a bout with numb-skulled Joe. Romney's debate experts, tasked with finding the best proxy opponent to practice against, winnowed their choices down to a bag of damp sand and a butternut squash. The verbal feint, thrust and parry abilities were identical for the sand and squash, but in the final analysis, the butternut's penchant for wildly disconnected false accusation won the day. –Dale