Fed Up

The rich must really be feeling it now. The Fed's dilution of the money supply is cleverly picking their pockets and there's nothing they can do about it. As the moronic public cries about ever higher costs of living, Barry was busy crushing the Carnival Barker Revolt and dispatching Gentle Ben Bernanke to assuage a nation's fears... China, I guess. Brother can you spare 37 Zimbabwe bucks? –Dale

Dream Jobs

What do you do with a six-figure employee who naps on the job? FIRE HIM. –All Right Magazine

Lunchbucket Joe, laser-focused on jobs, rolls up his hypothetical sleeves to pitch in as an air traffic controller for a night. It's reported that as the VP drifted off he gaffed, "Hey man, all these blinky lights are almost as f#@*ing hypnotic as one of Obama's rambling zzzzzzzzzz." –Dale

Outfoxed

What do you do when your pet fox turns on you? I guess you could just chalk it up to being another sign of the times. Glenn Beck is certainly unlike anyone else in the pundit universe. I'll miss his invaluable service to the republic as a teacher of our founding principles and his willingness to meticulously follow the slime trails of the left. I'll also miss his exploration of current geopolitical events as they relate to Biblical eschatology (probably the straw that broke the fox's back). What I'll miss "not so much" are Glenn's attempts to Mormonize the Church of Jesus Christ of Everyday Saints. –Dale

Hearing Loss

The U.S. Senate, home to America's out-of-touch aristocracy. Aside from being the worst place to look for presidential candidates, may soon be the worst place to exercise your freedom of speech. If Lindsey Graham's moistened finger thinks hearings on the First Amendment concerning Koran burning will win points with his fellow Senatards, on with the show. Burning any book is decidedly un-American. The suppression of ideas is better left to Nazis, Communists and the Sharia compliant. In 2008 we confiscated an American soldier's Bibles in Afghanistan, and burned them to win the hearts and minds of the populace, for whom our blood and treasure isn't quite enough. A dubious pastor burns a Koran in Florida and the crazies come out, in the Muslim world and in our Senate. –Dale