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DALETOONS ARE HERE AND SO ARE YOU

No matter how you wound up here, I hope you enjoy your stay.
Please click on images to view enlargements –Dale

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Blame Bush

Ever wonder why Barry seems so uncomfortable with all things Christmas? You'd think he and his government were in danger of bursting into flames at the mere mention of the word. Yet the first family has 37 trees in the White House. Upon closer inspection we find they're not Christmas trees at all, but actually Blame Bushes, symbols of an entirely different celebration. Happy Obamza? –Dale 

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Iconoclasm

As we wave goodbye to the little bottle of sunshine known as the incandescent light bulb and prepare to submit to the government mandate to illuminate our lives with Compact Fluorescence, some reflection is in order. Aside from energy savings, the CFL is inferior in every way. They're slow to come on and give off a sickly glow, flooding your room with that Leningrad ambience. If you break one, forget about it, seal off the room and call in a Hazmat team. But what about the good ol' light bulb's status as an icon? The cartoon community is being robbed of an invaluable tool to convey the dawning of a bright idea. The downsides of the Leningrad Lamp continue to grow. A new adage for our times might be, "Use an unauthorized mousetrap and the appropriate government agency will beat down your door." –Dale

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Compromising Positions

And the Magoo goes to...General Colin Powell. The rhinoceros has very poor eyesight and is regularly observed charging tree trunks and termite mounds. Similarly, the R.I.N.O. is regularly observed attacking his own kind. Perennial turncoat, Colin Powell has charged the Tea Party with a foolish inability to compromise. But what does he propose we compromise with, Marxism? I guess so, since he saw fit to endorse Obama in the last election. If the Tea Party ever decides to hand out awards to conservative renegades, this Democrat 5th Column General should be among the first recipients. Better yet, the General needs to turn his coat inside out and just be the lefty he is. –Dale

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Cheeky Peace

Mahmoud, what are you doing?! First you claim to have captured CIA agents. Now you've unleashed "students" on the British Embassy. If you weren't nuts, you'd pipe down, sit back and let Barry allow Sharia to go viral all around you. Don't you realize that shouting DEATH TO AMERICA seriously hampers Barry's re-election plans? That's the one thing that can get you in serious trouble with the One. If you could only quiet your inner mad dog, Barry will take care of that DOWN WITH AMERICA thing for you too. –Dale

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Pilgrim's Progressive

1620, Plymouth Massachusetts. Our Out of Order historian has discovered a heretofore unknown Pilgrim Father named Squander Obama. Squander, along with a small contingent of other Communitarians had stowed away onboard the Mayflower during her historic voyage. While not a signatory to the Mayflower Compact, Obama was reported to have been present for the occasion. Amazingly, none of the Communitarians were adversely affected during "The Starving Time" that first winter, in fact, they seemed quite robust as they watched half of the other colonists die. Happy Thanksgiving. –Dale

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Dreams from My Second Term

Barry Obama, the Anti-Reagan, having done for the word "HOPE" what homosexual activists have done for the word "GAY" is no longer happy to simply undo everything that Reagan accomplished in the United States. He dreams of bigger things, like taking a leading role in turning the world over to the enemies of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. –Dale

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The Gospel of Marx

Almost three years into his ministry, the real Messiah had eliminated disease in Israel and preached the Gospel of Peace with God to the entire nation without a teleprompter. How's the American left's smooth talkin' secular savior doing by comparison? With the complicity of a thoroughly corrupt leftist press, he has used the politics of race, class and sex to divide the country to near Civil War proportions. He has plundered the treasury for the sake of self and party, causing his enemies (us) to potentially finance the fundamental transformation of a once free society into one more socialist basket case. That's the problem with false messiahs, somebody else is always getting crucified. –Dale

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Mitt on a Mission

What is Mitt Romney peddling? If you said a bicycle you'd be partially right. Partially right just like Mitt's politics. He seems to have the Obamaesque ability to take both sides of any issue simultaneously. The establishment Republican intelligentsia seem to think that's a winning combination. But what about the third rail of Mitt's faith? Numero uno Latter-Day Saint, Mormon prophet Joseph Smith, declared orthodox Christianity to be an abomination. That orthodox Christians would be reluctant to assist in raising the stock of a candidate belonging to the organization espousing this notion comes as a shock to many in right-wing punditry. Shouldn't any organization in which Harry Reid is a member in good standing be viewed with suspicion? What the pundits and the RNC don't get is that the prime directive for Evangelical Christians is the dissemination of the Gospel. Christians must vote to retain as much religious freedom as possible, yet we are accused of religious bigotry and hatred for taking a candidate's religious affiliation into account when deciding whom to vote for. Christians do not hate Mormons, we simply believe them to be victims of a false religion, just as Barack Obama is a victim of Jeremiah Wright's twisted theology. If the choice is Romney or Obama... go Romney! P.S. If anyone is concerned that Mitt is pictured here breaking a helmet law, Mitt's hair officially qualifies as impact resistant. –Dale

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Bride of Frankenbarry

At 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue the lines between trick and treat are being blurred beyond recognition. White House occupiers Barack and Michelle Obama are getting all reanimated over the approach of Liberal Christmas. Halloween, the one night of the year when extortion by threat of vandalism is alive in the streets. The rest of the year, it's just called domestic policy. –Dale

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Choice of Toppings

Herman Cain lacks the gooey extra cheese which is the hallmark of the professional politician. His 999 plan would remove the social engineering and lobbyist feeding trough features of our currently insane income tax scheme. Time will tell if there's still hope for a "Citizen Statesman" to lead in America. Maybe he's just what the founders ordered. –Dale

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Fleaparty-Occupying Mr. Bags

What do we want?! EVERYTHING! When do we want it?! NOW! The cry of drug addled youth whipped up by leftist agitators. Glommunist Party Fleabaggers continue to demonstrate the Proletariat Sloth Ethic across the fruited plain. –Dale

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Being Joe Biden

Barack Obama's first executive decision, Joe Biden. Who better to keep a hawk eye on a mountain of stimulus cash. Obama was able to plumb the depths of the Biden mind maze to discover that any White House secret that entered there, had no chance of finding its way out. As for whistle blowing... what's a whistle? –Dale

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Uninformed

Morgan Freeman, one of Hollywood's finest empty vessels, has let fly with both empty barrels at the Tea Party movement. No big shock to discover that Freeman is just another Hollywood tool regurgitating poisonous lines fed to him by his leftist buddies. One would hope that he would accept the challenge from Herman Cain to attend a Tea Party rally to see for himself. He'd find the Tea Party to be a liberty driven movement where all are welcome, not the evil KKK lynch mob he says he envisions. Something tells me not to hold my breath waiting. Freeman's ability to play likable and wise characters prove him to be a truly great actor. –Dale

An open invitation to Morgan Freeman that's worth a read.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

You Say You Want A Resolution

It's that time again, when a cloud of mass-murderers descend on New York City, clustering in the U.N. General Assembly to condemn Israel and lobby for the carveout of a Palestinian state. Chief among them is Columbia University rock star, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who comes bearing the gift of released hostages. Looking to raise his "toast of the town" status, the soft and extremely fuzzy dictator may wish to adopt the language of another "lovable" authoritarian. "If you love me..." but what teenage girl hasn't heard that one before? If you really love him, pass the razor. –Dale

For further study, check out www.durbanwatch.com

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Schemepunk'd

Dear Leader has donned his safety goggles and rolled up his sleeves to pay his respects to yet another cutting edge company. Using the unknown element, Deceivium as its source of cheap renewable energy, the Amerikan Schemepunk Corporation is so forward thinking that they claim to be able to alter history to conform with the dreams of 19th century American Progressives. To Barry's way of thinking, it's well worth investing a couple of billion to get them off the ground. –Dale

Thursday, September 8, 2011

The Hour of Islam 9-11-2001

Remembering all who perished on that awful day, made in Mecca. –Dale

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Rape of Justice

Executive fiat. No, we're not buying an Italian car company yet, but executive orders are flying fast and furious. You see, the law is Barry's biggest impediment to "getting things done." Whether it's overturning DOMA, installing Cap and Trade through new EPA regulations or moving Don't Ask, Don't Tell to the INS, Barry and his crew are "getting things done." Things like one-party rule. –Dale

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Aftershock

An emergency page from my Barack Obama sketchbook.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Newsouique

Barry's Battle-Axe Brigade have their hatchets and claws out for Michele Bachmann. Newsweek Editor-in-Chief Tina Brown, in a fit of Venus envy, published a cover photo of Bachmann designed to characterize the Congresswoman as, let's be civil... crazy. Vampirism aside (apologies to Ms. Huffington), what if Newsweek had been in existence during the time of Joan of Arc? French traitors might have been inspired to sell Joan to be burned at the stake... what's that? Some things never change. –Dale

Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Truth

Barry is packing for the rabble-free Vineyard again, taking a well deserved break from rabble-rousing. He stopped to pose with the one bust he won't be returning. –Dale

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Great Apespectations

The historic election of Barry Soetoro as President has overshadowed an equally historic event for animal rights activists. Bobo, a Tanzanian born Chimpanzee was chosen by the administration, to head the newly formed Bureau of Expectations. So, the next time you hear the Obama glee club, that passes for the Press in Omerica announce that, "unemployment numbers are higher than expected" or "home foreclosures unexpectedly spiked last month," you'll be able to put a really hairy face on the "information." –Dale

Thursday, July 28, 2011

World of Class Warcraft

Ultimate Mage, Spendor the Avaricious, is amassing his lying hordes for a powerful assault on the forces of reality. Role playing games will never be the same... at least not the game part. –Dale

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Slack Jaws

Slack-jawed with disbelief, we the people watch our government masters stand paralyzed as President Gilligan steers our leaky national ship into the maw of a monstrously voracious Super-State. A little more to the left Barry! –Dale

Thursday, July 14, 2011

What Would Judas Do?

Look what the sewer in front of Planned Parenthood HQ belched up. It's none other than Saint Charlie Rangel lecturing us on the morality of confiscating the people's earnings to finance more liberal societal rot. But wait... is Charlie going to be the first Democrat to figure out that nothing prevents him from paying all the tax he thinks God wants him to? Is he really putting his money where his mouth is? Naw, it's our money again. –Dale

Friday, July 8, 2011

The Merdas Touch

Who knew that King Midas had a kid brother named Merdas? Now, Merdas had his own unique talent, in that, everything he touched turned to er... not gold. He imposed a Crapitalist economy in his short-lived kingdom, but was deposed by his angry subjects when they caught wind of his line of er... not the truth. –Dale

Friday, July 1, 2011

The Uninvited

As if the President needed a reason to be petulant and sanctimonious, what if the White House threw a Green Politically Correct 4th of July picnic and nobody showed except crashers and poopers? It's that time again, May Day is long gone and Ramadan is still a long way off. The first couple are in holiday limbo. Individual liberty, being a foreign concept to the left, will cause poor Lefty to suffer through another jingoistic Independence Day. For the rest of us, let freedom ring! –Dale

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Operation Facetious & Spurious

Champion of justice, Eric Holder is seen here, down Mexico way, getting rid of some junk in his trunk. What do you do when you've got to have evidence to support your gun control fantasies? You can entrust the job to a rogue government agency, or just dream it up yourself. I'm sure border agent Brian Terry's family will understand that it takes some sacrifices to keep the Great Society moving. –Dale

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Karlmic Consciousness

Asking Richard Gere or any other liberal Hollywood Actorvist to empty their mind evokes an immediate response of, "done, now what?" Hollywood is pretty easy pickin's for a guy like the Dalai Lama, so why has the exiled ruler of Tibet recently declared, "I am a Marxist."? My guess is that next time, he wants to leave the White House by the front door. –Dale

Thursday, June 9, 2011

A Hose By Any Other Name

Congressman Anthony Weiner, in a last ditch effort to save his public sector job has chosen a flimsy, yet unique cover-up technique. What caused this once vaunted mosquito-like Democrat political hack to go so wrong? Weiner is a progressive leftist Democrat. As such, he rises in the morning, gargles the blood of the innocent unborn, then spends the rest of the day swimming in venomous lies fashioned to destroy his own country for political gain. When seen through this prism, posting his post looks like a pretty small thing. –Dale

Thursday, June 2, 2011

To Hear From Eternity

What brings Old Blue Eyes back to the land of the dying? Apparently a simple misunderstanding on Frank's part, but imagining our leaders putting our grandchildren trillions of dollars in hock to Godless commies is unthinkable. The only thing more far-fetched is printing money to be paid back by what you hope to find between your future sofa cushions. No matter how poorly news gets translated in the hereafter, Sinatra's critique is amazingly cogent. –Dale

Friday, May 27, 2011

Pirates of the Caliphate

Turning a blind eye toward the Middle East, Barry throws in our national lot with Israel's enemies. With the rise of the "Arab Spring," the world's ducks appear to be lining up for something ugly. Obama's solution to the ugliness is a pre-1967 retro makeover for our only ally in the region. Looks to me as if Israel is being set up for a unanimous (unless the U.S. votes present) resolution of condemnation from the U.N., and a subsequent order to "protect" civilians from Israeli oppression. All of this could, of course, be avoided if Israel would just voluntarily walk the plank. -Dale
For Bible prophecy students: Check out this link on Islam's proposed worldwide caliphate. Islam and the 7 year Tribulation

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Sofa Engineering

What does GOP stand for? In Newt's case it means, Genius On Premises, just ask him. What are we the people looking for in a President? For starters it would be nice if he or she were able to identify the Red Menace when seated next to it, endorsing its agenda. Perhaps the era of Gingrich is over. –Dale

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Battered Citizen Syndrome

There you are, America, lying in the hospital with a broken jaw, a dislocated collar bone and in serious danger of losing your right eye. You told the doctors you fell down the stairs, but tell yourself that Barry's been under a lot of stress lately, and you just wouldn't listen when he told you to shut up. Maybe Barry's right to blame all of his failures on you and your former man. After all, jealousy is a sign of love isn't it? Just last week he killed a rat for you and you didn't show as much gratitude as you could have. He probably won't go off on you again, unless you do something to make him crazy. Oh no, here he comes, and you look a mess. Awww, he brought you roses…and a mean left hook. –Dale

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Spoils of Kinetic Military Action

Bravo Obama! For the second time in his Presidential career, Barry has taken an action that actually benefits the United States. Strangely, both incidents involved muslim murderers taking rounds to the head, delivered by our magnificent military. The first was a Somali pirate, the second was Suleiman wannabe, Osama bin Laden. Now, it remains to be seen if Eric Holder will be bringing charges against Seal Team Six for violating a mass murderer's civil rights. –Dale

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Fed Up

The rich must really be feeling it now. The Fed's dilution of the money supply is cleverly picking their pockets and there's nothing they can do about it. As the moronic public cries about ever higher costs of living, Barry was busy crushing the Carnival Barker Revolt and dispatching Gentle Ben Bernanke to assuage a nation's fears... China, I guess. Brother can you spare 37 Zimbabwe bucks? –Dale

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Dream Jobs

What do you do with a six-figure employee who naps on the job? FIRE HIM. –All Right Magazine

Lunchbucket Joe, laser-focused on jobs, rolls up his hypothetical sleeves to pitch in as an air traffic controller for a night. It's reported that as the VP drifted off he gaffed, "Hey man, all these blinky lights are almost as f#@*ing hypnotic as one of Obama's rambling zzzzzzzzzz." –Dale

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Outfoxed

What do you do when your pet fox turns on you? I guess you could just chalk it up to being another sign of the times. Glenn Beck is certainly unlike anyone else in the pundit universe. I'll miss his invaluable service to the republic as a teacher of our founding principles and his willingness to meticulously follow the slime trails of the left. I'll also miss his exploration of current geopolitical events as they relate to Biblical eschatology (probably the straw that broke the fox's back). What I'll miss "not so much" are Glenn's attempts to Mormonize the Church of Jesus Christ of Everyday Saints. –Dale

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Hearing Loss

The U.S. Senate, home to America's out-of-touch aristocracy. Aside from being the worst place to look for presidential candidates, may soon be the worst place to exercise your freedom of speech. If Lindsey Graham's moistened finger thinks hearings on the First Amendment concerning Koran burning will win points with his fellow Senatards, on with the show. Burning any book is decidedly un-American. The suppression of ideas is better left to Nazis, Communists and the Sharia compliant. In 2008 we confiscated an American soldier's Bibles in Afghanistan, and burned them to win the hearts and minds of the populace, for whom our blood and treasure isn't quite enough. A dubious pastor burns a Koran in Florida and the crazies come out, in the Muslim world and in our Senate. –Dale

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Whip My Hair

Will he or won't he? If The Donald decides to run for President, his Secret Service detail will have some additional contingencies to consider. It's hard to say if Trump is serious about anything other than self aggrandizement, but his antics are entertaining... like Ross Perot's were... uh-oh. –Dale

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Cool Handicap Luke

The Hollywood rumor mill is all abuzz. Scuttlebutt has it that Barry Obama will star in an updated version of Cool Hand Luke. In the remake, Barry will play the part of Luke Hussein Jackson. Caught red handed cutting the heads off of statues of the founding fathers, Luke is sentenced to four years hard labor in a DC work camp called The White House. Addicted to R&R (Relaxation and Re-election), Luke repeatedly escapes captivity only to be dragged back to prison by his sadistic taskmaster, "Captain." Word has it that Strother Martin is coming out of deep retirement to reprise his role. The working title for the project is "Tin Cup Dictator." Filming is scheduled to begin in the fall of 2012. This reporter wishes it were sooner. –Dale

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Horns vs Dilemma

Lost and saved alike can agree that if they never see Westboro's Phelps gang again, it will be too soon. The Supreme Court has found the cult's outrageous behavior to be protected by the First Amendment. Many on the right have disagreed with the decision because they rightly desire to protect the grief stricken families of fallen patriots from the evil taunts of the death loving Phelps family. If the government shuts down these jokers, who's next? The lefty media delights in describing the WBC as "Fundamentalist Christians." Nothing would please the left more than seeing the public proclamation of the actual Gospel in America made illegal, as it already appears to be in the Muslim stronghold of Dearborn, Michigan.

Every time Jesus attended a funeral a grave was left empty. –Dale

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Wreckonomics

The problem all of our kids will live with. America's first black president has taken a truly historic and promising event and used it to plunder the future. Barry's America, where race is used as a bludgeon to squelch honest debate and the weight of government is brought to bear on political enemies. With the help of corrupt union bosses, who tax their members for leftist largesse, he and his party are enriched. The only community Obama has ever organized is the basket case known as Chicago's 13th district. We're all Southside now. –Dale

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Hell's Bellboy

Socialist poster boy Muammar Gaddafi has been a favorite of the American Left since the evil Ronald Reagan launched a retaliatory air strike against Mad Dog Muammar in 1986. Libya is now the flaming domino of the week in the ongoing Middle-East meltdown. The people of these Islam rich countries appear to crave the noble goal of freedom from oppressive dictators. The problem is, once the tyrants are gone, what is there to replace them? Islam's seething hatred of Israel and Christianity would appear to be the binding tie. Barry and the gang will call it Democracy and further distance the USA from Israel. Bible prophecy students might think the lid on the bottomless pit is getting awfully loose. –Dale

Friday, February 18, 2011

Royal Roughage

Michelle Antoinette, the queen of deified fiber, cares about you. After all, the them she's talking about is you. Too slack-jawed to feed yourselves properly, much less your kids, the First Lady is sacrificing herself by doing battle with Big Chow on our behalf. Unfortunately, Americans having freedom, will probably not eat from the list of State sponsored foods until the food you love is made too expensive to buy. Look what we're making them do! Let them eat taxes. –Dale

Disclaimer: No bustles were harmed during the making of this picture. As a matter of fact, no bustles were used.

Thanks to Red Lemur (Logistics Monster) for suggesting the theme.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

So-so-ist

He's got to be joking. Barry, his greasepaint still detectable, is on another charm offensive, doing his unbalanced best to get the "folks" to BELIEVE again. He began the campaign with his Anti-Reagan SOTU performance. Then, presumably representing the Baby Killer Babdists, he attended a prayer breakfast to profess his faith. Next stop FOX News, where Helper Monkey O'Really put him through the whitewash cycle (no spin). Finally, the Chamber of Commerce listened politely while he claimed to have their backs. What's next, an appearance at C-PAC? You've got to be joking. –Dale

Friday, February 4, 2011

Political Asylum

Barry takes time out from padding the budget and unemployment numbers to pad a room in the White House for his latest Czar. Gunther will be economically sound, working for his fill of Fava beans and Chianti. He also has 26 homicidal personalities, making him more of a committee. A bargain as Obama Czars go. -Dale

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Spin One For The Dipper

It's dusk in America, but love is busting out all over Capitol Hill. In his State of the Union address, Barry and the accomplice press did their best to convince us that Barry's not a Marxist Spendaholic... better luck next time. –Dale

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Roe v Wading

Breaking with an old adage, yes indeed 53 million can be wrong. –All Right Magazine

As the anniversary of the American Holocaust rolls around again, Barry the Compassionate pauses to catch is own reflection. –Dale